Book Notes: A Retreat With Saint Therese & Helplessness

February 10, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Oops! The number of books I am currently reading, according to my Goodreads app, is 16. I just keep starting new books and not finishing the old ones. Today, I am determined to write a blog post. I have many ideas swirling around in my mind. Now that I’m writing, I can see two main ideas that I would like to talk about. One is “helplessness” and the other is “minimalism or spiritual poverty and faith”.

The first comes from a book I’ve been reading, with a group of Catholic women, called A Retreat with Saint Therese. According to Goodreads, I started reading this book 9 months ago. That’s probably right. A woman in my neighborhood likely started this group in April of last year. We met twice a month, took a very long break in the summer and fall, and started meeting again in January.

The second comes from two books. Uncluttered Faith by Joshua Becker and Happy Are You Poor by Fr. Thomas Dubay. I read the latter many years ago and I just started reading the Becker book last night. It’s clear to me now that I’m not ready to talk about those quite yet.

So helplessness it is! You probably already know a lot about this famous saint, but if not, here is a quick and oversimplified explanation to give some context. Saint Therese talks about wanting to find a very direct little way to heaven, instead of taking the steep staircase, which she believes she is too little to climb. She tries to find a lift to carry her up to Jesus. She realizes that the lift is the arms of Jesus. Here is a paragraph from the book regarding this:

Enlightened by the Holy Ghost, Therese perfectly understood these words of Wisdom. “To be wholly little,” that is to say, to know and love our helplessness, and for that reason “to go to Him,” that is to Infinite Love; this is how we enter the lift. And then He carries us up; He does it, not we ourselves. All we have to do is not to interfere, to yield ourselves to His upward movement. He lifts us up above ourselves, above our wretchedness and our shortcomings, and, little by little, will free us from our ourselves, from our egoism! That is His work, His essential work. He will do this divine work if, while desiring its realization in us, we rely in no way on ourselves, but rather, fearlessly, unhesitatingly and unreservedly on Him, on His gratuitous and all-powerful Love. The desire to love, humility, confidence; that is all.

(Page 41)

I included the whole paragraph because the whole thing is great, but the part that has stuck in my mind for a month is: “to know and love our helplessness.” This was a new idea to me. Not knowing my helplessness. I’m grateful that I often know it. And intellectually, I understand, and have experienced, surrendering, (usually out of desperation) and relying unreservedly on Him. I have often been humbled and realized I need to stop interfering and let Him do his work. The new idea for me was to love my helplessness. Have I ever done that? I don’t think so. How am I going to be “wholly little”? This has been in the back of my mind.

I wondered if I ever wanted to be little. Was there a time when I wanted to be helpless? Do I even want to become like a little child? Did I love being a child when I was a child? I think I was usually rather serious. But I could be silly too.

I remember that day when I was playing with my sister in the finished basement of our home, and my mom called us upstairs. My brother was there and my mom sat us down on the couch. She told us that she and my dad were getting a divorce. I think I started crying. It gets a little blurry. I remember my mother giving me paper grocery bags and me filling one with my shoes and one with my stuffed animals. And I think she told me I needed clothes. We were trying to get out of the house before my dad got home and we were going to stay with my grandparents. I remember feeling like an observer that day. Watching my grandmother bring my mother a drink. Sitting on my grandparents couch as they discussed something… I don’t remember feeling anything. I was nine, my brother was eight, and my sister was four.

That was in the spring. In the fall, I went to a new school. I wrote about the divorce in the assigned essay about what I did that summer. I wrote about how it was the best thing for everybody. How my parents were not happy together and now they would be happy. Looking back now, it’s clear that I wanted people to think I was fine.

I continued with this strategy. I was calm, cool and collected. My mother said I handled disappointment well. My grandmother said I wasn’t moody, I always had the same disposition. I was proud that my hands didn’t shake and I didn’t have panic attacks. I was proud of my good grades. I thought of myself as strong. I acted like I didn’t care what people thought of me. I became a helper, a problem solver, a good listener. I became a people pleaser. I don’t think I wanted to be helpless or needy or dependent. As an adult, I never wanted to go back to my childhood.

So here I am now at 56 years old. I’ve learned some truths over the years. I’m aware that I’ve believed a lot of lies. I think the more time I spend in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament, the more real I become. I am able to know my helplessness and my dependence, and also my loveableness. Today, while I was praying, I felt completely seen inside and out. It was as if I dropped everything I would have hidden behind in the past. And I kind of liked it. It gave me hope that I could one day love my helplessness. Maybe I would like to be little.

Amazingly, the Magnificat Meditation of the Day (2/10/26) seemed to fit my situation this morning.

Discouragement… springs from self-love and is a rebellion against our littleness and poverty. We do more harm to ourselves by yielding to discouragement over our imperfections, than by falling through weakness, because we deprive ourselves of the means of getting back up again. Discouragement shows too how defective is our trust in God. God comes to our help in proportion to our confidence and littleness, measuring his gifts by our trust. The Lord needs nothing but our humility and confidence to work his miracles and marvels. Such childlike trust makes us more apt for the working of his consuming and transforming love.

God does not intend his mercy to stop with us as individuals, however. We are to offer to others the pardon we ourselves have received. Confronting our own sinfulness is liberating, enabling us to put away the mask of untruthfulness and to be fully ourselves before God and those around us. It also means that we are not scandalized by the weakness of others, knowing that we share in it in a mysterious way through our common humanity…

(Sister Mary David Totah, O.S.B.)

I see this as encouragement to desire greater humility and confidence in God. I’ll admit I’ve been desiring to love my helplessness ever since I read that line. And I’ll end with another encouraging passage from the book:

This is what she says: “I have always longed to become a saint, but, alas, I have always found that when I compare myself to them, there is the same difference that we see in nature between the mountain peak lost in the clouds, and the tiny grain of sand trodden under the feet of the passers-by. Far from being discouraged, I say to myself: God would never put unrealizable desires into our hearts…” Let us pause here for a moment. The saint’s reasoning is admirable. God, the Holy Ghost, never inspires the soul with desires that cannot be gratified. He only awakens desires in order to satisfy them, and more completely than we can imagine or ask for.

(Pages 39-40)

My New Meal Planning Idea

February 1, 2026February 1, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Index cards! This is not a tried and true system I’ve been using. The cards you see in the picture are the only cards I’ve made so far. This is an idea that I am excited about that hasn’t undergone testing yet. I think writing about it will give me clarity and I’ll test it out this week.

I’m halfway through the six week Belly Fat Bootcamp Challenge which I’ve written about in previous posts. The challenge suggests following a meal plan, which is divided into three progressive phases, each lasting two weeks. (I am in the middle of the weeks 3-4 meals.) There are five recipe choices for each of the meal categories: breakfast, lunch, dinner, afternoon/evening snack, and pre-workout snack.

It seemed kind of complicated in the beginning, but now I’m seeing it as a bunch of new recipes. For week three, I chose three of the meals for each category and plopped them into a spreadsheet for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, then repeated them for Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and left Sunday open to use up leftovers. Still, it felt kind of complicated because I had to look at the spreadsheet to figure out what meal I was having and then find the recipe on the Meal Plans PDF. And I would often lose my place as I was preparing the meal.

So that is why I got so excited when I thought of the index cards. It was my aversion to seeing 25 meals at a time on five pieces of paper, that led me to this idea. I’m already using index cards daily to see my cleaning chores, my spiritual practices and other reoccurring to do’s. I love that they can help me to really take “one day at a time” by only seeing the cards for that one day. I can spread them out on my desk and physically put them away as I finish a task. I don’t have to keep writing these tasks over and over in my planner, and it’s satisfying to see the pile go down.

My plan is to copy each meal onto an index card. I can still use the spreadsheet to plan out the week. And then every night I can gather the five cards that I will use the next day, and file them in my card box. The next morning, I’ll spread them out on my desk and when I’m ready to eat a meal, I can just take the card and use it to prepare the meal. It will be flexible too. I change up the order that I have the snacks and the meals every day, depending on when I’m working out or going places. I might have the breakfast, pre-workout snack, then late lunch… or I might have an afternoon snack at 5 o’clock and dinner at eight, depending on the day.

My hope is that when this challenge is over, I will continue to use these recipes to live a healthier lifestyle. I think that these cards will make that easier.

Three Days in Singapore

January 29, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I accompanied Bobby on a work trip to Singapore. We set out on October 13, 2025. Getting there took even longer than planned because of a four hour delay at JFK. We got manicures and pedicures, and went out to dinner to pass the time. We had an eight hour layover in Istanbul. We took a shuttle bus to a hotel where we slept for about two hours and then went back to the airport. It was nice to spend all that time alone with Bobby. During the long flights to and from Singapore, I watched the entire Harry Potter series (eight movies!), The Materialists, and Megalopolis.

I bought a Go City pass for seven attractions without knowing if I would have time to get to seven, but I worked it out and got to see more than seven.

Day One:

Big Bus Red Line Tour

Gardens by the Bay: Flower Dome

Gardens by the Bay: Cloud Forest

Gardens by the Bay: Supertree Grove

I went up on the Skyway and it was my favorite thing up to that point. It was like each attraction was better than the previous one. I took so many pictures and loved the views. It looked like it was going to thunderstorm any second, but it never did.

From the Gardens By the Bay website:

Come face to face with 12 of the Garden’s 18 Supertrees at the Supertree Grove! Rising up to 50 metres above ground, these iconic giants provide shade in the day and come alive with an exhilarating light and music show at night.

… More than just futuristic-looking structures, the Supertrees present a bold new way to grow and display plants.

… 7 of the Supertrees are designed to harvest solar energy

Gardens by the Bay: Floral Fantasy

This place was breathtaking. I don’t exactly know what it was – some sort of garden with a mixture of real plants and artificial plants – but it was gorgeous. It was also great that there were not many people around. With the sounds of relaxing music and waterfalls it was a nice place to sit and meditate. I spent awhile in there, feeling grateful for the beauty, and the AC.

Big Bus Yellow Line Tour

Next I walked through the amazing Marina Bay Sands hotel to get to the bus stop for the yellow line tour. This brought me around the other side of the city, by the botanic gardens, hotels, churches, and lots of shopping galleries. I could see some interesting architecture as I rode by, but I had no interest in getting off the bus to shop.

Raffles Hotel & Chijmes

Here’s where I got off the bus to see the hotel where the Singapore Sling drink was created. I never drank one, and hopefully, never will. I walked over to another site called Chijmes, which was a filming location in the movie, Crazy Rich Asians.

Boat Quay & Merlion Park

At night, Bobby was free and we ate dinner together. (I took pictures of the subway because it was as clean as I heard it would be.) We went to a restaurant at the Boat Quay for dinner. Then we walked around and the lights were really pretty. We headed to Merlion Park because I wanted to see the Merlion statue, and the light show at the Marina Bay Sands. It was kind of dull because we couldn’t really hear the music, but it was pretty. I never did make it to the light show at the Supertree Grove.

Day Two:

Metropolitan YMCA Hotel

The hotel we stayed in was not in downtown Singapore, but the walk to the subway was not very far. There were also bus stops nearby, but when I tried to take a bus one time, it really didn’t work out, and I stuck with the subway after that. The hotel provided us with breakfast, so that was convenient. I canceled the downtown bike tour I had booked for Day Three. I would have been riding around the same areas that I had seen on the red and yellow line bus tours, and more importantly, I really didn’t want to be riding a bike in the hot, humid weather.

On the second day, I went to two sections of the zoo. I would’ve loved to have seen the Singapore Zoo, the River Wonders, and the Night Safari, but there just wasn’t enough time. So I picked what sounded most interesting to me, Bird Paradise, and a park called Rainforest Wild Asia because it was right next to it. I was not disappointed. Both parks were amazing. I got tired out at the rainforest because I had been walking in the heat and humidity for quite a while. I was drenched with sweat that day, but I loved it (the parks, not being sweaty) and took way too many pictures.

Bird Paradise

Rainforest Wild Asia

Day Three:

At night on Day Two, I planned what I would do on Day Three, which was to explore Sentosa. I decided to take the Singapore cable car ride (one of the Go City attractions) to get to the island. I already had a reservation in the afternoon for an observation deck at the Marina Bay Sands Hotel. I had anxiety that the cable cars would be crowded and I would have to wait in a long line and not make it back in time for the reservation. Also, taking a subway there was gonna take an hour, so I ended up getting an Uber type ride, with an app called Grab. As is usually the case with projecting negatively into the future, there was no need to worry. I rode in my very own cable car because I was the only one there.

Singapore Cable Car

I really wished I had more time to spend on the island of Sentosa. There was a Universal Studios theme park, a wax museum and more…but I would have loved to spend a whole day (or week) at the beaches.

Madame Tussauds (with a Harry Styles banner)

On Sentosa, I found my way to the beach station and got on the tram. I stopped at Tanjong Beach, then walked over to Palawan Beach. I crossed over the rope bridge and climbed the two watch towers. I guess I made it to the islet known as the southernmost point of continental Asia. The views were beautiful. I so wanted to plop down on the beach for the day, but since I only had two hours, I made my way to Siloso Beach. (On the way I ate some gelato for lunch.) This place was empty, so I left my backpack unattended and went in the water up to my waist. I was wearing a bathing suit, but I only brought bottoms to change into so I didn’t want to get my upper body wet. The water was warm and wonderful. After a few minutes, I went to the changing room, back to the beach tram, and then I took the Sentosa express to a station where I was able to pick up a subway to the Marina Bay Sands hotel. I arrived on schedule.

Observation Deck

The Marina Bay Sands Hotel is no doubt the nicest hotel I’ve ever seen. And it probably should be the nicest because I think it cost $8 billion dollars to build. I probably could’ve spent a day exploring it. The observation deck was a comfortable space, not too crowded, and offering beautiful views.

Next up was a shower back at the hotel and a Grab ride to Mass. (I wore a pretty white dress and I didn’t wanna get it all sweaty before the banquet I would be attending with Bobby that evening.)

Church of Our Lady of Lourdes

So these are some of the things that I saw and experienced in three days in Singapore. Traveling home, we had a layover in Hong Kong. It was a very long way from home. I always get a little nervous before I leave my family, thinking of going so far away from them. I didn’t even know where Singapore was on a map before this trip. It was not only enjoyable, it was also a learning experience. I’m grateful that I had this opportunity.

Book Notes: Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy and Groundhog Day

January 21, 2026January 22, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Today, I want to write about a connection I made between Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy and Groundhog Day The Musical.

It happened when I read these lines from the book:

A life dominated by urgent, busy and hurry is incompatible with the health and well-being of the human person, and incompatible with the things we say matter most.

Take relationships as an example. Love says: “I see you. I hear you. I am with you. I care. Rest a while. You are safe here with me. You are worthy.” (Pg. 7)

“Love says: I see you…” I immediately thought of the song “Seeing You” from the musical. I thought of how Phil Conners was stuck in the time loop until he slowed down, was humbled, accepted his situation as it was, and loved other people.

You may not have seen the play. For many years, I wanted my kids to see Broadway plays with me. No one ever wanted to, until one day in 2017, when Joseph asked me to take him to New York to see Groundhog Day The Musical. And so we went. It was very much like the movie, but with wonderful songs. And if you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it. I’m planning on rewatching it this year on February 2nd. Also, if you don’t want the story to be spoiled for you; then you should stop reading this post right now. I’m gonna tell the story of the musical in my own words.

Phil Connors is a self-centered and arrogant weatherman. He is going to a small town in Pennsylvania, called Punxsutawney, to report on the groundhog coming out. Will he or will he not see his shadow? The townsfolk celebrate and enjoy Groundhog Day, but Phil thinks it’s lame and doesn’t wanna be there. His attitude seems to be saying, “let’s just get this over with” and I think he has an underlying belief that tomorrow is going to be better.

Well, it turns out a big snowstorm (that he didn’t predict) comes in and he’s stuck there overnight along with his coworker, Rita. When he wakes up in the morning, it is Groundhog Day once again. He is stuck in a time loop; reliving the same day over and over again.

Before I continue with the story, I wanted to mention another song from the musical that I like called “One Day”. It ends Act One, and at the end of the song, the whole cast is involved and people are singing things that they will do one day.

I’ll cut down on fried chicken takeaway… one day I will do it… one day I’ll stop drinking so much… some day, I’ll buy her that ring… and the one that gets me is this: one day I’ll get a new safety clip for my holster… It opens too quick… I’ll do it next week…

How often do I put things off until tomorrow or next week? Procrastination can be a trap just as easily as urgency can be. But let’s get back to the story.

Phil goes through thinking he’s mental and visiting doctors. He wastes time getting drunk, philandering, eating, stealing money and other things that don’t make him happy. He spends time trying to end his life and is unsuccessful. Next he tries to learn everything about his coworker Rita to get her to love him. It can’t be done in one day. So he tells her what’s going on with him and she gives him more ideas of what he could do with this time. He could learn things, fix mistakes, help people…

For a while, he tries to stop a homeless man from dying on Groundhog Day. (I believe the song during this is called “Night Will Come”. It ends with some foreshadowing. This line is repeated three times: You’ve gotta love life…) He must accept the fact that he can’t stop the man from dying. And he finally accepts that he’s stuck in the time loop.

Neither the movie, nor the Broadway play, say how long he’s stuck in it. Some people on the Internet have estimated 30 to 40 years, in order for him to learn all the things he learned to do, and include all of the time he wasted.

This brings us to “Seeing You”. I think this link will bring you to the song if you want to hear it. I love this song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gjqcTHQ0ijo

If not, the main lyrics are:

I thought I’d seen it all

Was sure by now, I knew this place

I swear that I knew every hair

Each line upon your face

I thought the only way

To better days was through tomorrow

I know now that I know

I know now that I know nothing

But I’m here

And I’m fine

And I’m seeing you for the first time

I’m a sucker for conversion stories. I love to see attitudes change for the better. And in this story, it’s Phil’s humility that allows him to slow down, and accept the moment exactly as it is, and to have love and gratitude.

He slows down by letting go of working so hard to change his situation.

As Matthew Kelly says:

Busy prevents us from enjoying the things we are doing. (Pg. 8)

You can see this clearly in the movie when Phil is trying to fit everything into one day to make Rita fall in love with him and he’s getting stressed and irritable, which is making her even less likely to fall in love with him. He is still being selfish at that point, working at his own agenda.

The speed of our lives prevents us from recognizing the subtlety of human emotion and the people around us. (Pg. 9)

Slowing down and seeing Rita is what makes him attractive to her.

Other lyrics from “Seeing You”:

Trying to forecast the future

Always staying a day ahead

Well, that was the idea

And I’m here

How often do I project into the future in an attempt to be prepared for it? How often do I worry about things that never happen? How often do I miss what’s right in front of me? There are just so many relatable ideas in this story.

OK, that’s enough about Groundhog Day. I definitely haven’t finished talking about slowing down yet. More posts to come.

Belly Fat Bootcamp Challenge

January 18, 2026January 18, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Last night I trudged around my neighborhood in my heavy snow boots and wearing a weighted vest, trying to get to 7000 steps. It was almost sunset and I turned to see the beautiful view in this photo. I took many more pictures on my walk and none of them looked as amazing as it was in person.

It was the Belly Fat Bootcamp that motivated me to go outside while the plows were still making their rounds. It seemed better than the alternative, (the 30 year old treadmill), and it was. The daily step goal for week one was 7000+ steps. It will increase by 1000 steps each week. So as this will be my second week, I’ll do 8000+ steps each day. Then, during week six, I will hopefully be getting in 12,000 steps per day.

I listened to The Two Towers as I walked, but rather than me seeing Gollum frolicking in the forbidden pool, it looked like I was entering Narnia.

Speaking of Lord of the Rings, Bobby and I did go see the first one at Cinemark Friday night, and I did eat a medium popcorn with layered butter. That was the only meal I ate this week that was not on the plan. I’ve been consistent, but not perfect.

I also missed the daily step goal one day this week.

Aha. That was Thursday. I went to the movies with my father and sister. We saw Song Sung Blue. I loved it! But I must have run out of time for walking that day.

The workout plan (not including the cardio) is basically 4 days of full body strength training workouts, with three rest days. On two of the days, there is also an abs/core workout. I tweaked it a little. I do only the lower body exercises with the plan and workout my upper body on the rest days. So, I don’t have rest days, but every day requires a shorter time in the basement, which I prefer. I hope I’ll still achieve great results.

One of my struggles is that I want to see immediate results. I need patience. Change takes time. It takes consistency and effort. I just need to stop focusing on the scale, the tape measure, the mirror, the pizza I can’t have, the peanut M & M’s that look yummy, and the words “hot chocolate”.

I want to thank God for my health, my strength, my nourishing food, all things beautiful… and enjoy the journey.

Weekly Planning

January 11, 2026January 19, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

On Sundays, I do a little weekly planning. I pencil in the activities I’m planning to do at specific times. I fill in the short, daily to-do lists with 2-4 items for each day: calls to make, work-outs, tasks, and small projects.

This week’s projects are:

Belly Fat Bootcamp – This is a six week challenge that begins on January 12th. It’s for women over 40, and it comes with meal and workout plans. I’ve completed similar challenges from Melissa Neill before, and I’ve achieved great results. I started eating the meals this past week and they are quite different for me… quinoa, buckwheat, bok choy, wild salmon for breakfast?

Cleaning out my email – On Thursday, I cleared my inbox. There were over 1000 emails in it. I saved some in folders, and have been unsubscribing from many. This Thursday, I plan to go through all of the folders, deleting what I no longer want to keep.

Take down the Christmas decorations – I don’t really want to this year. It’s not because of the work, but I think I’ll miss the ambiance.

Purge the pantry – It needs to be done. I try to do it every three months, which is seasonally.

New file drawers – This project is taking longer than I expected. I received new hanging folders, manila folders, and Freedom Filer labels for Christmas. I thought I’d switch out the old folders and declutter papers quickly. Nope. There are lots of decisions to be made. Do we want to get rid of certain papers after two years? Do I want the product manuals in the folders or in binders where they are now? Can I get rid of papers from projects I’m not working on? I’ll make decisions.

I’m planning to go to two meetings this week that involve reading books. One is in person (starting up again after a break) and the other is on Zoom (completely new to me). I also have a date with Bobby to see The Fellowship of the Ring on Friday night. We usually watch LOTR together in January. This year we plan to go out for the first and third movies, and watch the second one at home sometime in between the others.

Tonight we’ll be celebrating Bobby‘s birthday. His actual birthday is January 12. He’ll be turning 56, like me. I’m writing about what I know. I’m just happy to be writing.

Book Notes: Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy, Introduction

January 8, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Slowing down and simplifying are some of my favorite topics. I was thinking about slowing down when my pastor announced that they were giving away these books on the first day of Advent. I knew I had to read it.

I’ll admit I haven’t been a huge Matthew Kelly fan. I remember, years ago, someone suggested that we read one of his books at my homeschool moms group and I expressed my dislike of his books. I don’t remember why. I think I thought he would take the ideas of spiritual classics and make them sound like new ideas. And now I will let you know how really judgy and uncharitable I can be. Some years I would follow along with his Best Lent Ever series, and although I appreciated what he would say, I criticized how he looked. I thought he looked unwell and seemed a little fake. I suspected that he was pretending all was well when it wasn’t. (And how do I know that people do this? Because I’ve done it myself.) Maybe it was a case of being bothered by someone because they exhibit some of the traits that you don’t like in yourself.

Now, after reading Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy, I have a whole new attitude towards him. I think we may be kindred spirits! I have a new respect for his honesty and humility. And clearly, we struggle with the same things.

The first thing that I underlined in this book:

Do you feel like you are doing enough?

(Pg. 2)

Good question. Most of the time I feel like I’m doing too much. But then why do I keep saying that I wanna catch up, and why do I feel behind? It sounds like I think I should be doing more.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of caring too much about things that don’t matter enough. Those things can be material possessions, but they can also be projects, other people’s opinion, social engagements, and a myriad of things we say yes to without considering the implications.

(Pg. 3)

I used to think that decluttering and organizing my possessions would help me to be less busy, and it may help, but it doesn’t solve the problem entirely. Then, I realized the importance of good habits to maintain order in my home, and for my personal health. Later, I found that reducing my distractions was necessary. Today, I’m thinking that slowing down requires humility and prayer.

Why are you so busy?

(Pg. 6)

My immediate response is fear. That sense of urgency might be a reaction to some sort of anxious feeling. (A trap is a good way to describe it.) The activities keeping me busy seem like a plan to get to peace, when really slowing down is the way to it. Being fully present in the moment and knowing I’m not alone brings me peace. Being aware that I have a loving God taking care of me, and everything else, brings me peace. I just need to let go of what I want, and trust in the One who knows everything, is all powerful, and all good.

I’ll continue to ponder “busy” and “slowing down”and some ideas from this book in future posts.

Blogging in the New Year

January 4, 2026 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

As you can see, I made myself an index card for blogging to put in my Sidetracked Home Executives index card system. So… it’s official. I’m gonna be blogging regularly now.

I’m just wondering if I should start with a catch-up post. I have a whole list of blog post ideas in my beautiful, new 2026 planner, but I just looked through the photos on my iPhone, and I have loads of good ones to share. I still have a draft called “Three Days in Singapore” that was left unfinished before I completed the first day, but that can wait.

I think I just have to accept the fact that, although I want this blog to be about books and ideas, (someday soon I hope), it is also my online journal. It’s the place where I share where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. And when I go too long between posts, it ends up being very list-like.

Mary got her braces off and got new glasses with progressive lenses.
I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to replace old gasoline by way of funneling it into our truck. So what if I bought two different funnels, (the first didn’t work out) and then I found the original one in the basement a few days later, and I had to prop my arms up (in the freezing cold) on our trashcan to be able to pour the gasoline in. I got the job done.
I brought Twinkie to his annual vet appointment. He’s a healthy guy. Still haven’t dropped off his stool sample yet.
Halloween was uneventful. It was the first year that none of my children went trick-or-treating.
I spent time decluttering and cleaning and organizing the basement. I always have the urge to do this around the beginning of November. I made a lot of progress in the basement. I’d say I’m over halfway through, maybe even 3/4.
There was lawn mowing and “winterizing” the house.
My birthday was wonderful. The kids all hung out with me and we worked on a puzzle together.
I had a plumber come in to replace a toilet and electricians fixed a bunch of things that were broken, hung up 2 new light fixtures, replaced outlets and switch plates in the last of the rooms downstairs that hadn’t been changed.
Hannah played Lavender in the musical Matilda at her high school.
I went on another Miles Christi silent Ignatian Spiritual Exercises retreat. My friend Carol drove us. Though I told myself I would start my resolutions immediately, once again I’m starting in January.
I spent at least a week prepping and painting the dining room. And a whole day hanging up the curtain rods and new drapes.
One night in November, Bobby and I went out on a date in Amherst and we came home with a new Christmas tree from the Hadley Home Depot. I think it’s gonna save me a lot of time in packing away the decorations. It’s pre-lit and works almost like an umbrella. I think it’ll be much more fun to take down, than an hour of circling around the tree to remove the lights, and then removing and carefully packing every layer of branches.
I spent a day with my father when he had a cardiac catheterization. He had a new stent put in, and he seems to be doing well now.

We hosted Thanksgiving as usual. We ate in the newly painted dining room. I didn’t quite finish the room because we were talking about sconces or pendant lighting above the table, so I’m waiting to hang up pictures until we make a decision about that. On the night before Thanksgiving, we started watching season 5 of Stranger Things. For some reason, Bobby always calls Vecna “Vector”.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving is always our traditional tree trimming party. Matthew and Anna came over. After we decorated the house and tree, we watched the movie Elf and my 55 years of Christmases slideshow.
I started reading the book Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy during Advent. I finished it at the end of the year and will definitely be writing about that soon.
When it snows during the week, I’m in charge of snow removal because Bobby’s in New York.
Bobby had to go to Providence, Rhode Island for the first weekend in December. Rachel, Hannah and I joined him, and the girls and I took a day trip to Newport, where we toured three of the mansions there. It was really interesting.

Sarah was student teaching at a high school this fall. We attended the concert where she accompanied the vocalists on the piano, and then conducted a song on stage for the first time. She is now officially done with her bachelor’s degree in music with a concentration in education. Exactly one week later we were at my nephew Edward’s high school band’s winter concert. It was his last one because he’s a senior.
Rachel and I went with Hannah to see Merrily We Roll Along at Cinemark. She was supposed to see the filmed play starring Jonathan Groff and Daniel Radcliffe for a class. I loved it and gave it five stars and a heart on Letterboxd.
We celebrated Matthew‘s 27th and Joseph’s 25th birthdays together since they are back to back on December 11 and 12th.
Bobby and I spent a weekend in New York City with my sister and her boys and one of their girlfriends. We visited Rockefeller Center and Fifth Avenue, looking at decorations, had some nice meals out at restaurants, and waited in a long line to go in FAO Schwartz. We tried to look around the Winter Village at Bryant Park, but it was too crazy crowded there. On Sunday we woke up to snow on the ground. Bobby and I walked to Mass and took pictures of the winter wonderland on Morningside Drive on the way home.
Joe got a new job working at Peter Pan. He works in a cubicle now.
I spent a ton of time shopping and wrapping presents and watching not so great Christmas movies, so I could scratch them off of my 100 Christmas Movies poster that I received as a gift last Christmas.
We did some Christmas puzzles, and made up our Christmas cards to send out. My mother said they were late because she received hers after Christmas, but liturgically, the Christmas season was just beginning. I’m not sure if that’s a rationalization for not sending them sooner.

Then came the four Christmases: Christmas Eve with my father’s family, Christmas Day, with our own immediate family, then Christmas with Bob’s family, and Christmas with my mom at my sister‘s house. We hosted the first three.
After dinner on Christmas Eve, we played a game with a big ball of Saran Wrap. Then we opened presents and played Christmas musical bingo. It was a lot of fun. I laughed a lot because my father put pictures of Harry Styles all over Hannah‘s gift and told me to say when I handed out the presents that there was no name on the package and I didn’t know who it was for. Of course, everyone knew it was for her. At night, I went to the Midnight Mass. It was so beautiful. The only picture I took was of the three younger girls, with Christina, in their choir gowns.
On Christmas morning, we have a tradition of eating Santa pancakes and bacon, then we open gifts. Then we spend some time cleaning up the mess, and relax.
Christmas with Bob’s family was extra special this year because both of our nephews were home and one of them is married and has a little girl named Ramona. It’s been a long time since we had a little one around. Can you guess what we gave her for a present? Books!
Christmas at my sister‘s house with my mom was very nice. We had brunch and I forgot to take pictures but Rachel got some of us laughing. My mom always makes us laugh.

During Bobby’s Christmas vacation, he wanted to go to New York City alone with me. It was like a three day date and very relaxing for both of us. We went to Brooklyn the first night to DUMBO and an Italian restaurant near a place with good views of the river and skyline. We watched a movie called Champagne Problems that my Dad recommended. It was a Netflix Hallmark type movie. I loved being in the cozy apartment at night with the skinny Christmas tree. The second night we watched It’s a Wonderful Life after another nice dinner, followed by a Grease parody play. I would have rather seen a Broadway play, but there was really nothing available for a decent price. We saw some beautiful Christmas decorations and got our steps in walking around the city. On the last day, I spent a lot of time reading and resting.
On New Year’s Eve, it was just the girls, Bobby and I home. We played games and watched the finale of Stranger Things. Then we watched the ball drop. We put out loads of snacks and then had to put them all away because we didn’t eat that much of them. And now I’m doing a new meal plan and workout plan. More on that in another post….

I’m all caught up now and ready for some regular blogging. Happy New Year!

Time Management?

October 27, 2025October 27, 2025 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

About a Boy. Have you seen it? This movie has a memorable scene in which Will, played by Hugh Grant, explains how he manages his time. Being a student of time management for two and a half decades, I found this a clever script. The character, Will, is a self-centered loner who enjoys his lifestyle, and doesn’t seem to worry about wasting his time.

I love it.

I can relate because I have felt extremely busy this fall, and I have thought…

How did I ever have time for homeschooling?

Today, I am thinking… Can I commit to blogging?

Of course I can. I would just need to make it a priority. Write it down in my planner and follow through. I penciled it in for Tuesday night, then erased it. I guess I won’t commit.

This is how I’ve been spending my time.

In September, my sister and I planned an 80th birthday party for my father. I did a lot to prepare for it, and my brother, Mark, and my niece and nephew came up from Tennessee to be here for it.

672 units.

Movies, mowing the lawn, helping kids with homework, banking, and rides, going with parents to doctors’ appointments, shopping, workouts, home maintenance, meetings, prayer, reading, eating, sleeping, and showering.

1,344 units.

A weekend in East Lyme, Connecticut in a rented house with Bobby’s family.

144 units.

Driving to New York City, then flying to Singapore with Bobby, seeing as much as possible in 3 days, and the return trip home.

384 units.

Catching up from being away for 10 days.

120 units.

Planning, decluttering, and organizing the basement, bringing a truckload of trash to the dump and a carload of boxes to the Salvation Army.

192 units.

I’m so disappointed. I really thought this post was going to be about time management. Once again, I’ve been compelled to account for where I’ve been in the last two months, and what I’ve been doing. I’m getting sick of these catch-up posts. And I’m not even adding photographs, which makes it even less interesting. I think the only solution is for me to blog more frequently. This may require the use of my time management skills. Ha! Now I’m back on track.

For all of 2025, I have been using a combination of a planner and the Sidetracked Home Executives index card filing system for time management. Without getting into the details of how to set up the index card system, I will share something I am learning about it.

Each day, I pull out the small pile of index cards, which include my morning routine, bedtime routine, and various activities or tasks that I am planning to do throughout the day. I spread them out on my desk, and as I complete a task or a routine, I file it in the box in front of the date that it will be used next. So my morning routine will get filed in front of tomorrow’s date. My food shopping card will get filed in front of next Monday’s date. And so on…

What I just realized, is that it is possible, and often happens, that I have more cards in the pile than I have time to complete in one day. Or I may have too many cards on a certain day, that I often can do in a day, but because of commitments, I can’t complete on that particular day. So I have started to add up how long the cards will take to check if I’m being reasonable with my expectations. If I get up at six, and I want go to bed at 10 o’clock, I only have 16 hours. I’ve also been giving myself about three hours extra for all those unexpected things. Phone calls, texting, kids wanting to talk about stuff, etc.

At the end of the day, I can look at what cards I have not completed and ask myself why. Did I have a good reason to skip that card or was I procrastinating? Was I led to do something more important?

Instead of using units of 30 minutes each, (as in the movie), I use hours. I’ll say: morning routine, two hours, Mass, 1.5 hours, desk tasks, .5 hours… I also look at my planner and add things that are happening that are not on index cards, such as Mary getting her braces off, 1.5 hours.

So this is what I’m currently doing to manage my time. I’m going to add in a blog post card, try to get an accurate time estimate for it, and see how it goes.

Reflections on My Homeschooling Journey

September 6, 2025 / Cheryl Wilcox / 1 Comment

A selfie I sent to my daughter, Hannah, on June 13, 2025, to show her I tried on her Role Model Diva sweatshirt. She told me I should get one so we could match. (I felt happy that she wanted to match me.)

June 13, 2025 was the last day of my homeschooling journey. It ended quietly. And then summer began with traveling, and included our traditional summer activities. It went by fast. And then it was the first day of school, but not for me. (It turned out not to be for two of my daughters either. A water main break gave us five more days of summer.) Nevertheless, I felt a sadness, and wondered why.

I don’t have a desire to homeschool anymore, and I’m looking forward to having time to “catch-up” on some of the things I put on the back burner while I was busy homeschooling. I read a few articles on retiring, and found one about life after homeschooling. And then I wrote in my journal.

Lord, I know this is a process. I’m going to feel all sorts of feelings. Please be with me through it. Guide me. Hold me. Show me the way. A friend of mine said, “Cut yourself some slack.” I am listening, Lord.

I acknowledge that what I did was a big accomplishment. Only those who have done it really know. And you know, Lord. It took Grace, and I thank you for supplying it. You gave me grace to persevere. I may have some regrets. Things I’m not proud of. Impatience, anger, anxiety… But there was good too. Patience, love, compassion, hard work…

It has helped me grow closer to you, which is best of all, I think. I learned so much. Why am I sad? What is the loss? Second chances.

I can’t have a do-over. I can’t get the time back. I can’t relive the good past memories. It’s the end of an era. I can’t get those babies and little kids back. I can’t have younger me back.

I used to love to scrapbook, to host Bible studies in my home, to study nature, to make reading nooks. I was a teacher, a tutor, a coach… I researched educational philosophies, traveled with little ones, participated in co-ops… I was an educator, a planner, an organizer, a writer, a blogger, a catechist… I wanted to do such a good job.

I kept trying. I didn’t give up. I tried to do what was best for each child. I tried to pay attention, to learn more, to do it right, to find the best way, to make a difference. I had so much hope each year, each morning, each day. I loved them SO much. I wanted them to love learning, to love our home, to experience things, to love you, Lord. To know you, to trust you. To have a true education. Sometimes I wonder if I did enough.

Maybe I wasn’t a good model, a good example, and I wasn’t holy. But I did the best I could at the time, and life continues. I am still their mother. We are still here. Only the “school” part is changing. I can continue to educate myself. To grow in faith, hope, love, and other virtues. To grow closer to you and hopefully do your will. To listen to your leading me.

So maybe I was a little melancholy the day I wrote this. I can get that way sometimes. Maybe it’s all part of the process of letting go. Maybe this is why people have retirement parties. To celebrate, and have some kind of closure. And when people graduate from high school or college, we say, “Congratulations! You did it!” Maybe this post is part of my closure. (And so is unloading homeschool curriculum, which I’ve been doing for a month now, and I’m almost finished.) This post is my celebration.

Yay! You did it! Congratulations! Oh, the places you’ll go!

Why, thank you.