I recently felt like I was “playing school” and my “student” was bored out of her mind. This is strange because this is my 19th year of homeschooling, and though I’ve had many bad days; overall, I’ve considered the experience a good one.

So far this year, my excitement for the subject matter is not cutting it. It’s like I’m watching my dream of instilling a love of learning – die – in real time. I’m thinking thoughts like… maybe I’m trying to fill a bucket, instead of lighting a fire. And I’m trying to remember what it was like to be twelve.

I don’t know what the solution is yet, but I’m ok with that. I trust that God will lead us to the next right thing. My daughter and I have been openly discussing ideas. Tonight, I got on my laptop to write a blog post. The word “deschool” popped into my mind. I think I must have heard about it when I was researching home education twenty years ago. A quick search found this:

• Deschooling
  • frees time restrictions.
  • shows that learning happens outside the classroom.
  • allows for students and parents to shift from the classroom mindset and discover the untapped potential in homeschool learning.

I also found this likeable quote that seems to fit my situation:

“Stop thinking schoolishly. Stop acting teacherishly. Stop talking about learning as though it’s separate from life.”

Sandra Dodd, Unschooling Advocate

I tend to think that I’m a lover of learning. But if I’m honest, I really only love learning the things that I am interested in. Maybe I’ll have more to say about this in the future. For now, I will get on my knees and ask for help, and then climb into my cozy little bed for the night.