Winter Sentiments

February 7, 2025 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

This afternoon, my daughter, Rachel, and I were decluttering up in the school room, which is also her bedroom. (Mary and I homeschool in the living room nowadays.) Rachel got rid of a bunch of squishies. I let go of some jigsaw puzzles and a stack of homeschooling papers about 2 inches thick. And once again, I made a little pile of school books to either sell, donate or throw away, a pile for my library, and a pile of “I don’t know yets.”

I did all of this very quickly. Having my daughter in the room with me seemed to help me make decisions, instead of putting them off. I think I accepted the reality that I will no longer be planning another school year. I was able to express this to my daughter and to say out loud that it is sad that I don’t have those little kids anymore. But I still have those kids. They’re just older now. I told her how I loved reading picture books and doing Five in a Row activities. I told her that I started homeschooling in 2004, so I will have done it for exactly 20 years. And how it’s hard letting go of those booklists that I’ve kept for so long, but I also want to move on…

Then I took a shower and felt the sadness. I miss little Matthew, my oldest son, who’s moved out. We spent so much time together. I watched him grow into a young man. And he’s a good one. Yesterday, I think he was plowing parking lots during the snowstorm. I remember him in his puffy little snowsuit, pretending to snow-blow our driveway. I would wonder if I should tell him to come inside when it was freezing out and he was having so much fun.

I know I can let go of more material possessions. And it’s good to feel my feelings and let them go too. Even after I decide, it takes a bit of work to get everything out of the house. It’ll be worth it though. I think I’m getting prepared for the next phase of my life. I don’t know what that will look like, but I don’t need to know. I believe that I will be led. I am on a journey. I plan to travel light.

Home Assignments

January 22, 2025January 22, 2025 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

One of the projects I’m currently working on is assigning homes for all of my personal possessions and the items my family shares. I’ve come to realize that when an item doesn’t have a home, it makes it very hard to put it away. Where does it go? It usually ends up somewhere it doesn’t belong and it becomes clutter. I think this is the way piles are born.

I started this last year. I took some old sheets of paper and sketched the places where things are stored in each room. So in my bedroom, for example, I sketched the nightstand drawers and my dresser drawers. Then, I wrote in tiny letters what goes in those drawers. I did the same for my closet, the bathroom cabinets, etc. Now, when I want to tidy up or declutter, I can look at those sketches and see what should be in those drawers or on those shelves. The extra items will need to be tossed or assigned homes.

So far, I’ve gone through my kitchen desk, the pantry, the living room, and my bedroom. I purged a lot, and I’m starting to gather up a little collection of things I don’t know what to do with. They are mostly gifts that we don’t need, and probably won’t use, but they’re in perfectly good condition. Maybe donations?

I’ve also found things that require some action, such as: gift cards to be used up, new felt pads and socks for our kitchen chairs, and parts of things that need to be repaired. I’ve been trying to do those tasks.

I felt like writing about this tonight to motivate myself. I like to see in writing the purpose, which is really the benefit of the project. It also gives me clarity. It’s like telling a kindred spirit my ideas about simplifying my life. There’s so much scope for imagination.

The New Year: Time to Review and Renew

January 16, 2025 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Now that we’re two weeks into 2025, I am finally ready to write again. The end of 2024 was such a whirlwind of busyness. I didn’t plan for that to happen, but it happened once again. Now I’m in that place where my eagerness to change my whole lifestyle has worn off, and I’m realizing that all I have is today. I’m not going to radically change my body, my home, or my habits in a couple of weeks. I’m just going to live one day at a time and focus on turning to God as much as possible each day.

Of course, the first thing I must write is a review of the end of 2024. It was a mixture of traditions and new experiences.

There were some field trips with Mary. First to Old Wethersfield, CT with my father-in-law, and then to Salem and Boston with my father, and my brother (who was up from Tennessee) and his girlfriend.

Joseph was in a community theater production of Beauty and the Beast.
Hannah was in the play, Big Fish, at her high school.
Sarah and Rachel sang in a choral concert at the college they both attend.

My friend, Carol, and I went on a Miles Christi Spiritual Exercises retreat in Wappingers Falls, New York.
We hosted Thanksgiving.
We had our annual tree trimming party.

Mary and I spent some time with Bobby in New York City. We saw loads of Christmas decorations, and we went to Madame Tussaud’s wax museum for the first time. It was one of the touristy things I had not done yet.

I started a huge project. I made a slideshow of pictures of my Christmases from 1969 until 2024. I did it methodically, and it was very time-consuming. I still haven’t created the DVD yet, but after Christmas we did watch all four parts by connecting a laptop to the TV. A true family movie night.
I spent the day with my mom when she had eye surgery.
The girls and I went to my nephew Edward’s high school band concert.
Matthew turned 26.
Joseph turned 24.
I created a Christmas musical bingo game to play on Christmas Eve and we tested it out.
There was a lot of time spent Christmas shopping and wrapping presents.
We took pictures and made a Christmas card.
My sister and her family hosted Christmas with my mom.
We hosted Christmas Eve with my dad.
I attended midnight Mass. Rachel and Hannah sang in the choir.
On Christmas morning, we did our annual Santa pancakes and bacon breakfast and opening of gifts with the “kids” and Matthew’s fiancé, Anna.
Then we hosted Christmas with Bob’s side of the family on the 26th.

I took another trip to NYC with Bobby, Rachel and Hannah. Rachel wanted to see the decorations and Hannah wanted to see the Harry Styles pop-up store. We ended up seeing A Complete Unknown at the Lincoln Square AMC and it was so much fun. We considered New Year’s Eve in Times Square, but I wasn’t feeling up to par, and it was going to rain, so we came home on New Year’s Eve day.

And this brings me to 2025. I started a new method for keeping a schedule. It’s a combination of using a planner and the index card filing system laid out in the book, Sidetracked Home Executives. (These were some of my Christmas gifts from Bobby.) So far, I’m liking how it’s going. Maybe I’ll write a post about that sometime.

Mary and I have gotten back in the groove with homeschooling. For my meals and workouts this year, I decided to do the transformation challenge again. I successfully completed it last year and the results were amazing! Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with it. I went back to my unhealthy eating habits, and walking occasionally was my exercise. So I’m back to meal prepping on Mondays for the whole week and I’m doing great on that end. I haven’t been keeping up with the workouts. I did a bit too much on the first day and I could barely walk. Then I took a few days off. I’ve been procrastinating a lot when it’s time to work out. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do about this. I need to pray about it.

I’ve been taking down the Christmas decorations. Bobby turned 55 years old, so we’re the same age again. We celebrated his birthday last Sunday. A box of 60 eggs now costs $26.32. I remember a few years ago, when I first started buying these boxes at Walmart, they were $8.00. I got my haircut and I want to figure out how to style the layers. Or… I could just keep straightening it.

I love a new year with new possibilities!

I did spend some time reading my retreat notes from last November, and once again made some index cards to read every day to keep my focus on what’s most important. My resolutions this year are not really things I want to accomplish, but rather attitudes that I want to have. One of those attitudes is gratitude. I think this writing was helpful to me. I feel grateful for the blessings of 2024.

Writing always helps me to slow down. Sometimes my thoughts seem to go too fast and I feel like I’m not keeping up. I focus on the things that I’m not getting done. I can be way too hard on myself. But when I am still, and very quiet, I know that it’s enough. Everything is as it’s supposed to be at this moment.

And it’s gonna be a year of hope!

Fifty-Five

November 13, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

On November 2, 1969, I was born. Fifty-five years later, I am grateful for my life. My hair, my teeth, and my skin are definitely showing signs of aging; but along with those visible changes have come the invisible ones. I have experienced so much. I’ve learned a lot through the joy and pain of living and loving and being human. I thank God for the peace I have today. I pray that I may remain teachable and grateful as new lessons come my way.

Book Notes: Leisure- The Basis of Culture, Sections IV & V

November 4, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I want to wrap up this book study so I can move onto a new one. That doesn’t sound like a very good attitude, does it? This book is just not that exciting to me anymore. I started the study in January 2023. Shocking! And I will finish what I started.

Section IV opens up a can of worms that I don’t want to open. It seems to be pointing out differences of philosophies. Of which philosophies, I am not sure. I’m guessing Marxist ideas versus the ideas of the Catholic Church or Christianity in general.

He spends most of this section on what he calls, “Excursus on the Proletariat and Deproletarianization”. I don’t really want to go into it too much, so here’s my speedy overview:

Proletarians are people who are fettered to the process of work. They can be people from all levels of society, and there are different reasons why someone might be in this state of mind.

The author suggests combining three things in order to deproletarianize:

“…by giving the wage earner the opportunity to save and acquire property, by limiting the power of the state, and by overcoming the inner impoverishment of the individual.” (59)

Liberating a man from the process of work would require not only giving him opportunities to have activity that is not “work” (real leisure), but also that he’d be capable of leisure. He ends with the question: with what kind of activity is man to occupy his leisure?

In Section V, The main idea is that the core of leisure is celebration.

“Celebration is the point at which the three elements of leisure come to a focus: relaxation, effortlessness, and superiority of ‘active leisure’ to all functions.” (65)

He argues that celebration is man’s affirmation of the universe and his experiencing the world in an aspect other than its everyday one. The most intense affirmation of the world would be praising God. So, divine worship is the basis of celebration.

I thought this quote was interesting:

“ the vacancy left by absence of worship is filled by mere killing of time and by boredom, which is directly related to inability to enjoy leisure; for one can only be bored if the spiritual power to be leisurely has been lost.” (69)

I can remember being bored a lot as a kid. Sometimes I just didn’t know what to do with myself. There were many things I could do, but I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. It makes sense to me that I would be confused or indecisive without having much self-knowledge, without a connection to God, and the trust in His guidance. I can still feel that way occasionally, but much less often as an adult because when I have an inability to enjoy leisure, I fill the time with work. This also makes me think about my YouTube problem. Is “the vacancy left by absence of worship filled by mere killing of time” in the form of scrolling on YouTube?

Solution: worship

Experiment #5 Results

November 1, 2024November 1, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Here’s where I tell you what I learned from my Experiment #5: Internet Limits.

The Experiment

Starting now, until the end of October, (a little more than 10 days) do not use an Internet browser after 8 PM. Also, limit time on YouTube to one hour per week.

What I Did

10/21/24

I watched some YouTube videos the kids were watching on TV. Does that count? I don’t think so. I did not go on the Internet after 8 PM. I had a strong desire to try to find an explanation for the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. I had to go to bed, thinking that it was boring and made no sense.

10/22/24

I woke in (what I thought was) the middle of the night, and was tempted to go on my phone for a variety of reasons, mostly stemming from curiosity. I wondered why. It was a compulsive feeling. I could describe it as “driven to distraction” (the title of a book I’ve heard of, but never read). I thought it might’ve been better if I had specified the entire time I was to stay off the Internet, such as: from 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. Eventually, I picked up my phone, and found it was 6:20. I usually get up at six. Today, I was hoping to sleep till seven.

(I removed the huge journal entry of haphazard thoughts written that morning. I’ll share some of them in the next section.)

10/23/24

Sent Bob links to Old Navy pajamas after 8. After the movies…

10/23/24

Listened to a YouTube video for over an hour while cleaning. I’m already past the week’s limit. Went on the internet a lot after 8 pm. Looking up stuff on Wikipedia…. in bed.

10/24/24

Online and on YouTube in bed in the morning.

10/25/24

YouTube in bed.

10/26/24

YouTube in bed late.

10/27/24 & 10/28/24

Failed miserably.

10/29/24

Cold turkey?

Watched a video while I ate in my room so I didn’t have to hear the show the kids were watching. On phone late at night.

10/30/24

Idk

10/31/24

On my phone after 8pm.

11/1/24

Listened to Uniformity With God’s Will while mowing the lawn.

What I Learned

Announcing, pledging, making up rules to follow, calling it a challenge… these are temporary fixes. They do not last. If they are done by attempting to control, going it alone, by my own power… there will come a day when I am too weak. In this experiment, it was the second day.
I must ask for help to do hard things, to resist temptations, and to give up my own will.
I have been filling my life with noise. I believe the peace that I seek will be found in the silence which is necessary for conversing with God.

In Conclusion

My plans, my designs, my rules, my agenda. What a waste! I cannot change myself. And then I beat myself up for failing. Again.

I’m not going to set more limits. I’m going to accept myself as I am. I’m going to give thanks as much as I possibly can and focus on loving God.

Experiment #5: Internet Limits

October 21, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I don’t like when I spend too much time scrolling on YouTube in bed. I end up not getting enough sleep and being tired the next day, and it really seems like a time sucker. Imagine the knowledge I could acquire if I spent that time studying… anything.

I’m not sure what I should do about it. I could quit cold turkey like I did during Lent. Or I could set limits. Sometimes I put my phone in the living room so the temptation is just not there. That usually only lasts a couple of consecutive nights.

Sunday at Mass, I had the idea that I could try limiting my YouTube to one hour per week. Sunday night, I did go on it for a few minutes, and then I switched to reading about William Wallace. (Just watched Braveheart) Then I searched on Amazon for basement shelving. I still stayed up too late once again. This morning at Mass, I had a thought that maybe I shouldn’t go on the Internet after 8 PM. It couldn’t hurt to do an experiment…

Experiment #5:

Starting now, until the end of October, (a little more than 10 days) do not use an Internet browser after 8 PM. Also, limit time on YouTube to one hour per week.

I shall post the results on November 1st.

Portugal, You’re Beautiful Too

October 13, 2024October 13, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I was blessed to accompany my husband on a work trip to Braga, Portugal. I also spent one night in Fatima on my own. I started writing a detailed post about how this was less like a vacation, and more like a lesson on detachment, because so many things did not go as I planned. Then I accidentally deleted the post. So now I’ll just say that acceptance and gratitude are the means to peace, and add some photos.

Fatima at night

Fatima the next day

Braga Cathedral

Bom Jesus

More Braga

Poland, I Love You

August 29, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I love your potato pancakes, pierogis, paczkis, people, and churches, churches, churches…

I spent a couple of days in Warsaw, and a few in Poznan. I walked around A LOT, ate a lot, attended a Mass in English and three Polish Masses, took a tour of Poznan, visited many churches, an applied art museum, and spent one night dancing!

I also watched all of these movies on planes.

(Just so you know, I’m generous with my ratings.)

Here are some of my favorite photos:

Summer Vacation

August 11, 2024 / Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Bobby, Joe, Rachel, Hannah, Mary and I spent a week at the Cape. It went by so fast. We watched a lot of movies, went to the beach a few times, and played blind karaoke. That was a little scary for me. I was disappointed to learn that I don’t know the words to very many songs, even though I always thought I knew so many! It turns out I only know parts of them.

We did one puzzle, watched Percy Jackson season one (eight episodes!) and played billiards, daily? I know we had ice cream for dinner once, went kayaking on the pond, and I read Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself. (This is part of my rereading the Judy Blume books I read as a kid, as an adult.) I also started rereading The Intellectual Life, which has got me thinking about how I spend my time. More on this in another post I hope.

Here are some photos.