Books

On Being Indecisive About What Books to Read

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I own loads of books that I want to read, but have only a little bit of time each day for reading. So isn’t it great that I’m using some of the time I could be reading to write a blog post about it?

Seriously… I know that writing and talking with other people often leads me to clarity of mind. So let’s get started.

First of all, I read for different reasons. One of the reasons is for enjoyment, entertainment, fun, or whatever you would call this. There are authors that make me smile, and worlds that I love to imagine. I also like to read to learn, or to be inspired, or to be more convicted about ideas. I think it’s my reading to gain knowledge that is causing my current trouble. More specifically, I want to study books about my Catholic faith in a methodical, focused way in which I start a book and then finish it before starting another one. Recently, I’ve been picking up a book when I’m in the mood and then not finishing it.

My “Currently Reading” list in the Goodreads app is proof of this. I am currently reading 11 books. One of them is an audiobook that Mary and I are listening to together. Of course, I will finish this and start another one. Another is a devotional book that I will finish. Two of them are fiction (for fun) books that I will gradually finish. The other seven are the “learning” books I picked up and left hanging. It’s interesting to note that three of them are rereads. For some reason, I picked them up again and didn’t finish them.

I know that this indecisiveness is the result of fear of making a wrong decision. I want to use my time wisely, so it’s important that I know which books are the absolute best ones for me to read. I also want to know the exact order in which I should read them. I can’t have any “holes” in my knowledge. This is clearly perfectionism and unrealistic expectations. I’m not using my time wisely when I research the crap out of stuff and avoid making a decision.

One night, I spent some time looking at book lists. And some of the books on them didn’t interest me. So there’s that. There were some nice book lists that had many of the books I owned on them. These were obviously books that I was interested in reading, because I either bought them, or received them as gifts. Somehow, I went from looking at book lists, to purchasing a book called How to Read Your Way to Heaven. (It was one of my snuggling with my phone in bed nights.)

For about two weeks now, this book has solved my “reader’s block” problem. 

I’m following the One-Year Program (Year 5 of the Five-Year Program) that will result in me reading the entire New Testament, Christian Prayer (Part Four) of Catechism of the Catholic Church, and 12 spiritual books that are related to prayer.

This is very doable. I haven’t timed it yet, but it’s supposed to take about 30 minutes a day, five days a week. I feel great that I started, and I have a solid plan for a minimum of weekly reading. I am sure that I can plug away at my Goodreads list on the weekends.

Indecisiveness and perfectionism comes up in other areas of my life, such as: what I will do for exercise, what meals to cook, what clothes to wear, how to decorate my home, how to organize stuff, and so on. Sometimes I think I just need to make a decision and get going on it. Making a decent decision (maybe not the best ever) is better than making no decision at all. I recently heard this advice regarding exercise: Instead of doing “all or nothing,” try doing “all or something.” I like that. 

April Habit of the Month

/ Cheryl Wilcox / 1 Comment

Do you remember I wrote about the Flylady’s Habit of the Month?

January: Shine your sink (success!)

February: Declutter for 15 minutes a day (failed)

March: Dress to shoes (success!)

April: Make your bed (Baby say whaaaaat?!)

I already make my bed regularly. So for April, I’m giving myself another chance to succeed with the February habit. I’m calling it a “challenge” and I’m tracking my progress on a pretty little paper I found on this website. I just finished the first week.

Before I started, I think I was having some anxiety about failing again. I have been trying to declutter and organize my house completely for 25 years. Why haven’t I done it yet? I start, and then I get sidetracked. Check this out.

This book was published in 1981, and I believe it was the inspiration for the Flylady’s methods. I’ve been wanting to read it for years. I suddenly had the urge to read it, after I had just said I don’t need to read more books on simplifying in my action faking a.k.a. procrastinating post. So what did I do? I signed up for an Internet Archive account, and I borrowed it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, though sometimes it kept me up way past my “bedtime.”

I was extremely tempted to buy all the supplies to set up my 3 x 5 index card file and try-out their cleaning method. But then it occurred to me that this might be action faking. Was I trying to avoid my feelings about starting the decluttering challenge? Was I worried that I wasn’t capable of finishing what I start?

We can’t endlessly prepare if we want real results.

I resisted the temptation. I told myself that if I really want to start a new cleaning method, I can do it after I finish decluttering the whole house. For now, I will focus one day at a time on making progress. I will trust that God will help me if I continue to ask him for help.

I am using the Sidetracked Home Executives’ strategy for putting the house in order. It’s basically: start at the front door and go clockwise through the house, decluttering drawers, cabinets, and closets. Skip the kitchen and do it when you finish the rest of the first floor. Then, go upstairs and work your way around clockwise from the stairs. Then, go to the basement and work clockwise from those stairs. Then finally, clockwise around the garage. Sounds simple enough.

The S.H.E.’s say that the disorder in their house happened because they closed the doors on it. “Psychiatrists call it repression. We called it all dressed up with a dirty neck.” I really enjoyed their sense of humor.

I also liked hearing the origin stories of many of the tools I’ve used for years. When I declutter, I usually sort into these boxes: GIVE AWAY, PUT AWAY, and THROW AWAY. (I call it TRASH.) I learned that they came up with the PUT AWAY box as an “anti-sidetracking device”. It was the breakthrough they were looking for because when they would go return items to other rooms, they would get sidetracked. With this “innovation” they would stay glued to the spot they were working on. I have added another box from this book called STORAGE. It’s suggested that these items get put aside in an area to be sorted when I’m ready to set up the storage area.

The first struggle I have encountered this week has been thinking that I have a long way to go. This was addressed in the book. “Don’t be discouraged at how long a job takes.” They say it takes the average person six weeks to work her way back to the front door, and maybe twelve weeks if you work outside of the home. And it took them three months. They say to keep reminding yourself, “I didn’t get myself into this mess overnight, and I’m not going to get out of it overnight.”

I’m just happy that I’m taking real action, and I am confident that I will have real results.

Book Notes: The Fellowship of the Ring, Book One, Chapter I

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“Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can’t be right. I need a change, or something.“

Bilbo Baggins

I love, love, love… this description of a feeling I know I’ve felt before, but would never have been able to articulate so well. Since my descriptions of feelings are usually basic: happy, sad, angry, etc. I find writing like this impressive.

I love the whole dialogue between Bilbo and Gandalf in this chapter, in which Gandalf is encouraging Bilbo to leave the ring behind.

“Don’t you want to?”

“Well, yes— and no. Now it comes to it, I don’t like parting with it at all, I may say.“

It reminds me of all the times I want to give up something that isn’t good for me or start doing something that is good for me. I can sense a tension… an invisible tug-of-war going on.

Today at Adoration, I was reminded of a time when I felt very free. And I recalled how surrendering is what brings me freedom. I let go, and listened, and felt great consolation. I find this dialogue so encouraging, because it gives me a visual of what I want to do.

Bilbo is resisting surrendering the ring. He argues, rationalizes, and whines. He says he’ll keep it.

“You will be a fool if you do, Bilbo,” he said. “You make that clear with every word you say. It has gotten far too much hold on you. Let it go! And then you can go yourself, and be free.“

Gandalf

Like Bilbo, I often go from…

“I will do as I choose and go as I please,”

to…

“And yet it would be a relief in a way not to be bothered with it anymore.”

before I am ready to leave the ring behind and feel the joy of walking out the door a free hobbit.

Books Revisited

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I haven’t finished reading any books this summer. I may have started reading some. I’m good at reading something when I get in the mood, and then forgetting about it. Didn’t I say, in January, that 2023 is the year I will finally read The Lord of the Rings? Well, I started it…

This has to change. I’m putting it out here. The books in the photo are what I am currently reading. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel obligated to finish them before I start any others. I just need to stay focused.

As you may or may not know, Leisure: The Basis of Culture is my current book study. I’ve written two posts about it here, and I’ve read the third section so many times; but don’t feel ready to write about it yet. I revisited The Noonday Devil because I was led to while reading that amazing third section.

I decided to use The Fellowship of the Ring as a read aloud during school with Mary. I went back to the beginning, this time listening to the audiobook.

The Spiritual Exercises is not really meant to be read. I don’t care. I’m reading it anyway. I’m going to read it cover to cover, very slowly. And sometimes I’ll do meditations. And sometimes I listen to talks by Fr. John Hardon, S.J. While I was painting the foyer, I listened to the talks given to some women religious during an Ignatian retreat in 1975. Extremely interesting.

Finally, I am returning to Norway, through Kristin Lavransdatter. I listened to over a third of the audiobook, (mostly while painting the mudroom) in October of 2020. What happened after that? I do not know, but I started it again, Sunday, on my hammock. I didn’t get far, because guests arrived. It was a busy weekend. But, oh boy, I’m excited to be revisiting these lovely books again.