Homeschooling

Reflections on My Homeschooling Journey

/ Cheryl Wilcox / 1 Comment
A selfie I sent to my daughter, Hannah, on June 13, 2025, to show her I tried on her Role Model Diva sweatshirt. She told me I should get one so we could match. (I felt happy that she wanted to match me.)

June 13, 2025 was the last day of my homeschooling journey. It ended quietly. And then summer began with traveling, and included our traditional summer activities. It went by fast. And then it was the first day of school, but not for me. (It turned out not to be for two of my daughters either. A water main break gave us five more days of summer.) Nevertheless, I felt a sadness, and wondered why.

I don’t have a desire to homeschool anymore, and I’m looking forward to having time to “catch-up” on some of the things I put on the back burner while I was busy homeschooling. I read a few articles on retiring, and found one about life after homeschooling. And then I wrote in my journal.

Lord, I know this is a process. I’m going to feel all sorts of feelings. Please be with me through it. Guide me. Hold me. Show me the way. A friend of mine said, “Cut yourself some slack.” I am listening, Lord.

I acknowledge that what I did was a big accomplishment. Only those who have done it really know. And you know, Lord. It took Grace, and I thank you for supplying it. You gave me grace to persevere. I may have some regrets. Things I’m not proud of. Impatience, anger, anxiety… But there was good too. Patience, love, compassion, hard work…

It has helped me grow closer to you, which is best of all, I think. I learned so much. Why am I sad? What is the loss? Second chances.

I can’t have a do-over. I can’t get the time back. I can’t relive the good past memories. It’s the end of an era. I can’t get those babies and little kids back. I can’t have younger me back.

I used to love to scrapbook, to host Bible studies in my home, to study nature, to make reading nooks. I was a teacher, a tutor, a coach… I researched educational philosophies, traveled with little ones, participated in co-ops… I was an educator, a planner, an organizer, a writer, a blogger, a catechist… I wanted to do such a good job.

I kept trying. I didn’t give up. I tried to do what was best for each child. I tried to pay attention, to learn more, to do it right, to find the best way, to make a difference. I had so much hope each year, each morning, each day. I loved them SO much. I wanted them to love learning, to love our home, to experience things, to love you, Lord. To know you, to trust you. To have a true education. Sometimes I wonder if I did enough.

Maybe I wasn’t a good model, a good example, and I wasn’t holy. But I did the best I could at the time, and life continues. I am still their mother. We are still here. Only the “school” part is changing. I can continue to educate myself. To grow in faith, hope, love, and other virtues. To grow closer to you and hopefully do your will. To listen to your leading me.

So maybe I was a little melancholy the day I wrote this. I can get that way sometimes. Maybe it’s all part of the process of letting go. Maybe this is why people have retirement parties. To celebrate, and have some kind of closure. And when people graduate from high school or college, we say, “Congratulations! You did it!” Maybe this post is part of my closure. (And so is unloading homeschool curriculum, which I’ve been doing for a month now, and I’m almost finished.) This post is my celebration.

Yay! You did it! Congratulations! Oh, the places you’ll go!

Why, thank you.

Summer and the End of Homeschooling

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment
Lake Washington, Seattle

Ah, the beauty of summer…

I’m ready to write, but this isn’t gonna be another catch up post. Or… is it?

Bobby joined me as I completed another eight week body transformation challenge. We followed the meal plans, and did the same workouts, sometimes together and sometimes separately. Joseph was in Guys and Dolls. My father was in the hospital for about a week. He seems to be OK now. Bobby and I spent a week in Vancouver, and a week in Seattle. I’ve been mowing the lawn, bringing my parents and children to doctors’ appointments, driving Hannah back-and-forth to her summer job at Six Flags, and I prepared a lot of Italian food for our triple birthday party. The girls and I have been watching The Summer I Turned Pretty together. This week I am super motivated to declutter, and I’m starting to sell homeschool curricula.

OK, that catches me up. Now I can tell you why I thought I’d be blogging more frequently, although it has not come to pass. This past June, I finished homeschooling. As in… I have finished 20 years of homeschooling my six children! Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like a very big deal. I knew it was coming, and it happened gradually. At one time, I was homeschooling six children, and then it was five, and a couple of years later it was four, and the next year, it was three. Eventually, only Mary was doing school at home. And this September, she will be going to high school.

But on the other hand, this will be a big change for me. It’s the end of something that was a very large part of my life for a very long time. Many days, I have grieved the loss of those little ones, and my younger self, and those simpler (but not easier) days. I do not regret any of it. Well, there are things that I wish I would’ve done better, but I understand that I could only do things to the best of my ability at the time. I’m so grateful for my experiences, and especially, for experiencing this way of life.

I see that school supplies are out in the stores now. I have memories of years of stocking up on dry erase markers, and crayons, and notebooks. I remember the excitement of beginning again in a clean schoolroom with sharpened pencils, new books, and big plans. Pushing my Walmart cart by the end caps, I feel sad for a couple of seconds. I really miss the laughter of those little kids…

But it passes quickly. I prefer to stay in reality. Those days are gone, and I am blessed to live the life I’m living today. And there’s always the excitement of not knowing what the future will bring. I expect it will be good.

I imagined I’d have so much more free time when I came to the end of homeschooling. In June, I thought I might write here a few times a week, but so far it’s like any other summer. Five of my children are still home. Three of them are adults and two of them are teenagers. I’m close with my parents, who are divorced, so I usually see them separately. My days are still filled with meaningful work and building or maintaining relationships.

I’m starting to tackle some projects. One of them is selling homeschool curricula, which is a part of the organizing the basement project. I’m starting another whole house declutter, and finishing up with assigning homes to all of our possessions. And there are lots of tasks that crop up such as covering my blueberry bushes with netting, fixing the tent that was damaged in the thunderstorm, taking Hannah to open a checking account at the bank, and going to the eye doctor. And there are loads of books I want to read…

Maybe it’s time to do a time assessment or a brain dump. I gotta sort out my priorities. And I need to pray. And sleep. And I hope I write about it all really soon.

Winter Sentiments

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

This afternoon, my daughter, Rachel, and I were decluttering up in the school room, which is also her bedroom. (Mary and I homeschool in the living room nowadays.) Rachel got rid of a bunch of squishies. I let go of some jigsaw puzzles and a stack of homeschooling papers about 2 inches thick. And once again, I made a little pile of school books to either sell, donate or throw away, a pile for my library, and a pile of “I don’t know yets.”

I did all of this very quickly. Having my daughter in the room with me seemed to help me make decisions, instead of putting them off. I think I accepted the reality that I will no longer be planning another school year. I was able to express this to my daughter and to say out loud that it is sad that I don’t have those little kids anymore. But I still have those kids. They’re just older now. I told her how I loved reading picture books and doing Five in a Row activities. I told her that I started homeschooling in 2004, so I will have done it for exactly 20 years. And how it’s hard letting go of those booklists that I’ve kept for so long, but I also want to move on…

Then I took a shower and felt the sadness. I miss little Matthew, my oldest son, who’s moved out. We spent so much time together. I watched him grow into a young man. And he’s a good one. Yesterday, I think he was plowing parking lots during the snowstorm. I remember him in his puffy little snowsuit, pretending to snow-blow our driveway. I would wonder if I should tell him to come inside when it was freezing out and he was having so much fun.

I know I can let go of more material possessions. And it’s good to feel my feelings and let them go too. Even after I decide, it takes a bit of work to get everything out of the house. It’ll be worth it though. I think I’m getting prepared for the next phase of my life. I don’t know what that will look like, but I don’t need to know. I believe that I will be led. I am on a journey. I plan to travel light.

That Twirling Feeling

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment
The first purchase I can remember.

I’m taking photos and letting it go. I can’t say that about most of the possessions I’ve looked at during my April Declutter Challenge. Letting go is not easy.

These are the areas or categories I have gone through so far: DVD’s, the TV stand and end tables, sheet music (Sarah did it), the hutch, my nightstand, my clothing, my dresser, my closet, my books, the master bathroom closet and vanity, the foyer closet, my kitchen desk cabinets, the kitchen cabinets and drawers, the fridge and freezer, the utility closet, the pantry, the extra closet, the mudroom, the 1/2 bath cabinets and drawers, the upstairs bathroom closet and vanity, art supplies, fiction books, picture books, scrapbooking supplies, photos, planners, office supplies, homeschool curricula… Phew!

I know it’s boring, I just wanted to see what I have accomplished. I’ve been stuck in the school room/Rachel’s bedroom for at least two weeks. Sometimes it’s been emotional. I am planning to homeschool for one more year. My youngest child (who will be a teenager in a week!) will be an eighth grader next year and will likely go to high school, as her siblings did. I’m letting go of curricula that I know we won’t be using next year, or ever.

I’ve felt sadness about not using some of the things I had planned to use. There are so many unfulfilled ideas/desires. There’s also a sadness from the good memories I have of being in that room with my beautiful, little children. It’s the same feeling I get during the movie You’ve Got Mail. If you haven’t seen it, then this is a spoiler alert. If you have seen it, then you might understand. Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is closing the bookstore that her late mother used to own before she owned it. After going through the process of selling everything but the shelving, she comes to her last night alone in the store. She looks back at the almost empty room and sees a memory of her mother twirling her around when she was a little girl. Add in the dramatic music and I get a lump in my throat every time. It’s that happy and sad at the same time kind of feeling. It’s the grieving of lost moments that will never return, mixed with gratitude that you were blessed to experience them.

I remember the excitement I’d feel at the beginning of a homeschool year. I was so hopeful. I loved planning, setting up the space, getting organized… I so enjoyed reading aloud while they were drawing…. Of course, they didn’t enjoy doing a lot of the work. It was far from perfect. But we had some good times. And just like that… it’s over.

I want to let the past go, appreciate the fine people that they are today, and enjoy my present lifestyle. In many ways, it’s better than the “old days.” But I am keeping many of the books that we own. I don’t know if this is prudent or if I might be trying to hang onto the past. I have this idea in my head that someday I’ll have a cute little library in whatever home I live in. Sure, we are not using these books now, but we might use them someday. Am I making excuses? Am I too attached to material possessions? Actually, I was gonna get rid of more of the picture books, but the kids wouldn’t let me. We kept a lot that I wouldn’t miss.

After books, I moved on to scrapbooks and there are a lot to finish. And photos… there are a lot to scan. All of that will have to wait until I finish decluttering the whole house, and other projects that are higher priority. My daughter, Rachel, is graduating from high school at the end of this month. I have made graduation slideshows for each of the three older children and it is expected that I will make one for Rachel. This will be a very large project. I took the first step yesterday by bringing my laptop to a repair shop.

When I was feeling scared and overwhelmed, this passage kept me going. It was on a calendar in the closet. Just what I needed to see at that April moment.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me, you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

So true.

Whether I’m letting go or not letting go, I am not alone.