NYC

A Slowing Down Pep Talk

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment
A staircase below a food court in Soho, NYC

I’m home again! Blogging on my hammock in the backyard. I will likely be home until mid-October. New York City with the six teenagers was fun. (I’ll show some pictures without people in them to protect their privacy.)

On Wednesday night we ate at the Carnegie Diner. I think we watched the new episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty when we got back to the apartment.

The next morning, I wrote my previous blog post and we didn’t go out until the afternoon. (They slept-in and takes a while for seven people to get ready with one bathroom.) We went to Brandy Melville and edikted, which were clothing stores I didn’t know existed. Then we went to two thrift shops, one that was crazy expensive and another, called The Reshop, which was decent. I think everyone was tired by that point, so we returned to the apartment and we had takeout for dinner. (V & T’s… our favorite nearby Italian restaurant.) One of Hannah‘s friends wanted to work out, which was cool because it also got me to work out. I hadn’t thought of it and didn’t bring workout clothes. The girls sang some karaoke songs, we went to Times Square, and ate gelato. When we got back to the apartment, I stayed up late in my bedroom while they stayed up late in the living room.

On our final day, Friday, I worked out again with Hannah‘s friend, and nobody was ready to go anywhere until it was time for us to bring two girls to Grand Central Station. On the way back, Hannah and I bought a couple of rolls of toilet paper because we ran out. 🤣 I took a long time eating and packing and cleaning the apartment before we left at 5 o’clock. And it was a long ride home. I’d do it again though. I forgot how fun it was to be a teenager. When I look back, I usually forget about sleepovers and going out with friends, and singing and dancing and giggling. I usually remember the angst, and the mistakes. What’s up with that?

Yesterday, I spent time with my other kids, my mother, and then my father and his partner Cheryl. And now I’m resting. I’m trying to do not much of anything. When I was journaling earlier, I wrote: too busy to pray = TOO BUSY. As you probably know, the reoccurring theme of this blog is “slowing down.” So that’s what I’m doing today. I’m remembering my priorities. I’ll do some weekly planning, making sure to plan to do “first things first.” And if there’s not a lot of white space in my planner around the “first things” and the “have-to’s”, then I’ll lower my expectations about what I can accomplish this week.

Here’s a meditation that I have always liked:

It’s not about getting loads of things done, it’s about doing the things that I believe God wants me to do. And how would I know what those things are, if I’m too busy to listen?

Be the tortoise.

Looking Back, Looking Ahead, and Being in the Moment

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment
A view from Ellis Island

I’m writing from New York City. It’s quiet here this morning, so I thought I would take some time to write. Bobby is at work, and Rachel, Hannah, and four of her friends are in the other room. I am sure that some of them are still sleeping because I don’t hear any talking. We arrived yesterday. Hannah and her friends stayed in the apartment with Bobby, who was working remotely, and I met Rachel and three of her friends and their moms for lunch and a matinee. Mamma Mia!

The show was great! I’m not sure what Hannah and her friends want to do for the next two days. I know there are some stores they want to visit.

Last week was our family vacation. Because our children are teenagers and adults now, and many weren’t sure if they would be able to take a vacation with us this summer; we decided to spend a week in New York City instead of booking somewhere else ahead of time. Bobby and I ended up coming to New York with Sarah, Rachel, and Mary.  Here are some highlights and photos from the trip:

  • Anne Frank exhibit
  • Little Island, where Sarah played Billy Joel‘s Vienna on a piano
  • Walking on the High Line (where I thought I was going to die because it was in the 90s and we didn’t want to spend whatever the exorbitant price was on water… we walked til I nearly dropped)
  • The Godfather at Bryant Park
  • Liberty Island
  • A hardhat tour on Ellis Island
  • Hamilton (10 year’s old now)
  • Stranger Things: The First Shadow

We were very tired after the busyness of the first couple of days, so we stayed in the apartment for most of the last half of the trip and watched some movies (Freaky Friday, Minecraft, The Parent Trap, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) and we binge watched Stranger Things.

The girls and I watched The Summer I Turned Pretty episode of the week, and we played Payday and many games of Sorry!

Bobby, Sarah, and I worked out in the gym. Unfortunately, I have not worked out in about a week. In between the two New York trips, I was pretty busy. My father-in-law was in the hospital when we were away. We visited him at his home on Sunday and he is doing OK. I brought my father to an ERCP on Tuesday and that went well. They removed a stent he had put in when he was in the hospital when I was in Vancouver.

So, once again it’s been a busy summer. A mixture of work and fun times. Some worries and stress, and some peace and joy. It went by so fast. School begins next week. I know my calendar is looking pretty full, as it usually is at this time of year.

My perspective on life seems so seasonal. I wonder if this is part of my personality… to reflect on things so chronologically. I am a thinker. Summer used to be my favorite season when I was in my 20’s. I was quite the beach lover. But for many years now, my favorite season has been fall. I’m looking forward to more structure and order, and cool, crisp, blue sky-bright foliage days.

It’s also a tendency of mine to think a little ahead too much. I don’t want to think too far into the future, but I often think about the next few weeks. Sometimes, I overwhelm myself. The best thing for me to do is to stay in the moment. Just for today, I want to listen and be present.

The New Year: Time to Review and Renew

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Now that we’re two weeks into 2025, I am finally ready to write again. The end of 2024 was such a whirlwind of busyness. I didn’t plan for that to happen, but it happened once again. Now I’m in that place where my eagerness to change my whole lifestyle has worn off, and I’m realizing that all I have is today. I’m not going to radically change my body, my home, or my habits in a couple of weeks. I’m just going to live one day at a time and focus on turning to God as much as possible each day.

Of course, the first thing I must write is a review of the end of 2024. It was a mixture of traditions and new experiences.

  • There were some field trips with Mary. First to Old Wethersfield, CT with my father-in-law, and then to Salem and Boston with my father, and my brother (who was up from Tennessee) and his girlfriend.
  • Joseph was in a community theater production of Beauty and the Beast.
  • Hannah was in the play, Big Fish, at her high school.
  • Sarah and Rachel sang in a choral concert at the college they both attend.
  • My friend, Carol, and I went on a Miles Christi Spiritual Exercises retreat in Wappingers Falls, New York.
  • We hosted Thanksgiving.
  • We had our annual tree trimming party.
  • Mary and I spent some time with Bobby in New York City. We saw loads of Christmas decorations, and we went to Madame Tussaud’s wax museum for the first time. It was one of the touristy things I had not done yet. 
  • I started a huge project. I made a slideshow of pictures of my Christmases from 1969 until 2024. I did it methodically, and it was very time-consuming. I still haven’t created the DVD yet, but after Christmas we did watch all four parts by connecting a laptop to the TV. A true family movie night.
  • I spent the day with my mom when she had eye surgery.
  • The girls and I went to my nephew Edward’s high school band concert.
  • Matthew turned 26.
  • Joseph turned 24.
  • I created a Christmas musical bingo game to play on Christmas Eve and we tested it out.
  • There was a lot of time spent Christmas shopping and wrapping presents.
  • We took pictures and made a Christmas card.
  • My sister and her family hosted Christmas with my mom.
  • We hosted Christmas Eve with my dad.
  • I attended midnight Mass. Rachel and Hannah sang in the choir.
  • On Christmas morning, we did our annual Santa pancakes and bacon breakfast and opening of gifts with the “kids” and Matthew’s fiancé, Anna.
  • Then we hosted Christmas with Bob’s side of the family on the 26th.
  • I took another trip to NYC with Bobby, Rachel and Hannah. Rachel wanted to see the decorations and Hannah wanted to see the Harry Styles pop-up store. We ended up seeing A Complete Unknown at the Lincoln Square AMC and it was so much fun. We considered New Year’s Eve in Times Square, but I wasn’t feeling up to par, and it was going to rain, so we came home on New Year’s Eve day.

And this brings me to 2025. I started a new method for keeping a schedule. It’s a combination of using a planner and the index card filing system laid out in the book, Sidetracked Home Executives. (These were some of my Christmas gifts from Bobby.) So far, I’m liking how it’s going. Maybe I’ll write a post about that sometime.

Mary and I have gotten back in the groove with homeschooling. For my meals and workouts this year, I decided to do the transformation challenge again. I successfully completed it last year and the results were amazing! Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with it. I went back to my unhealthy eating habits, and walking occasionally was my exercise. So I’m back to meal prepping on Mondays for the whole week and I’m doing great on that end. I haven’t been keeping up with the workouts. I did a bit too much on the first day and I could barely walk. Then I took a few days off. I’ve been procrastinating a lot when it’s time to work out. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do about this. I need to pray about it.

I’ve been taking down the Christmas decorations. Bobby turned 55 years old, so we’re the same age again. We celebrated his birthday last Sunday. A box of 60 eggs now costs $26.32. I remember a few years ago, when I first started buying these boxes at Walmart, they were $8.00. I got my haircut and I want to figure out how to style the layers. Or… I could just keep straightening it.

I love a new year with new possibilities!

I did spend some time reading my retreat notes from last November, and once again made some index cards to read every day to keep my focus on what’s most important. My resolutions this year are not really things I want to accomplish, but rather attitudes that I want to have. One of those attitudes is gratitude. I think this writing was helpful to me. I feel grateful for the blessings of 2024.

Writing always helps me to slow down. Sometimes my thoughts seem to go too fast and I feel like I’m not keeping up. I focus on the things that I’m not getting done. I can be way too hard on myself. But when I am still, and very quiet, I know that it’s enough. Everything is as it’s supposed to be at this moment.

And it’s gonna be a year of hope!

Current Events

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment
Bobby’s baby grass. He asks me to take pictures of it almost daily. 

In my small, Catholic grammar school, I had a class called Social Studies. One year, maybe when I was in six or seventh grade, we had to bring in newspaper clippings weekly, and learn about “current events”. I didn’t like this. I never knew what was going on. I remember bringing in articles about OPEC or Anwar Sadat, and having no clue about what I was presenting.

My memories of watching the news are my mom saying, “Oh…those poor people, can you imagine what they’re going through?” And I would think, No, I don’t want to imagine that at all. I was used to watching The Guiding Light, The Jeffersons and Three’s Company. I’d rather think about Star Wars or Michael Jackson or E.T. I was busy amusing myself to death.

Since my last blog post, I vacationed in Las Vegas and New York City, helped with the annual trimming of my dad’s arborvitae bushes, spent a few days getting back into routines, helped Sarah shop for a car, then I got sick.

I plopped myself on the couch and watched a bunch of movies and I also had a YouTube relapse. I was watching videos of “current events” and they were nutty. There was the attempted assassination of Trump, Biden stepping down from campaigning, Kamala possibly running for president, an IT outage, and the opening ceremonies of the 2024 Olympics in Paris. I’m noticing a big difference between these YouTube videos and the newspaper clippings from my middle school class. For one thing, they’re more addicting. They are also seemingly never-ending. And they are mostly reactions and opinions about what happened, or parts of stories leaving you with unanswered questions. Was that blue screen of death on my laptop in the summer of 2023 from an IT outage?

Anyway, you’ve got to expect times to change in 40 something years. I recently watched some movies that were set in the 90’s that seemed like so long ago. Remember when answering machines seemed cool?

Las Vegas trip with Hannah and Bobby, July 11-15 (including her 16th birthday)
NYC trip with Rachel, Hannah, my sister Jodie, my nephew Patrick, (and Bobby at night) July 17-19

I don’t really have a point to this post. I just needed to get off YouTube and I felt like writing. I also wanted to post some pictures of Las Vegas and New York to look at in the future. And as usual, I need to be caught up with the current events in my life so that I feel ready to write more.

July Habit of the Month: Drink Water

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

I will track this habit by making eight dots at the bottom of each day in my planner/bullet journal. When I drink 8 ounces of water I’ll change a dot to an X. My goal will be to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.

Phew! I’m happy to be writing again, and I feel hopeful that I can once again focus on habits, routines, and resolutions. I have been very scattered since I posted at the beginning of May. It was a very busy two months, and by looking back at my iPhone photos, I can recall some of what I was doing.

There was Mother’s Day, my father-in-law was in the hospital, and I watched many tennis matches. There was Mary’s birthday, a Memorial Day picnic, Rachel’s art show and prom, her class night and graduation. Then there were weeks of creating a slideshow of Rachel’s life from birth to graduation. (I did it for the older three children, so I had to continue this tradition.) We also prepared the house and the food for the big graduation party, and then there was Father’s Day.

Next, there was the unexpected water in my basement. When I went downstairs to gather up some homeschool books to sell online, (my first step in decluttering and organizing the basement) I found water all over certain sections of the basement and shooting out of our tankless water heater! On a happier note, I spent a weekend in New York City with my father and Bob. This was my father’s Christmas present. We saw A Beautiful Noise, which is a musical about Neil Diamond, and spent a wonderful night at a Yankees game, among other things. Then last week, I spent a couple of days with my mother, as she needed help with another surgery. This time it was on her left wrist. Yesterday, we watched Clueless and played a lot of games for Sarah‘s birthday. This brings me to today. Two eye doctor appointments, two dentist appointments, and Hannah had her braces put back on after having them off for a month.

Seeing it all in writing makes me feel better. These are my excuses for not sticking with my morning routines and bedtime routines, and for not doing my strength training and eating healthy.

Today is a new month, and a new day. I find that there is a snowball effect that happens when I get too busy to pray and meditate. I might get anxious and make poor choices. I stop taking care of myself physically. I let routines slide. Habits go out the window. I think the same is true when I focus on first things first. I gain clarity. And the snowball starts rolling down the hill. I make rest a priority. I might start drinking more water, and I’ll go back to my routines. The snowball will get larger and start picking up speed. I’ll be feeling good enough to work out and eat healthy.

Today I took some time to relax. I read the book, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. I loved this book when I first read it. I must have been under nine years old because I remember the house I was living in while I was reading it. It was still enjoyable reading it as an adult. I also took some time to write in my paper journal, and now I’m writing here. I’m not feeling as scattered.

Rest and recollection slows my mind down. It helps me remember my priorities. I love visual metaphors. I’ve heard one described something like this. Imagine you’re in a pond and you’re moving around a lot. The water looks kind of murky and you can’t see through to the bottom. Then imagine you stop moving and stay still. After some time, the water is calm and it gets clearer, and then you can see better. And so it is with me.

Summer 2023

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

With just two weeks left until school starts, I thought I might do a summer highlights with photos post. This has been a great summer for me. In addition to my usual activities, I’ve been traveling quite a bit, and Mary’s new kitty, Twinkie, has brought a new kind of joy into our home. We all love him.

Tonight I was thinking… I wonder if I can start blogging again. Maybe on Wednesday nights? And then, of course, I realized that I must account for the gap between May 31st and the middle of August. Well, that’s basically my summer.

My laptop went kerplooey, one oven needs a new igniter and the other needs a new fan, and I had an evening of smoke detectors going off every 15 minutes while I replaced all the batteries, and then finally took down the defective one. Hannah got glasses for the first time and Mary’s taking steps to get braces. There were the annual events such as: the triple birthday party, trimming my dad’s bushes, and completing the school department paperwork. There were many days of hanging out at my dad’s pool or going to the movies.

We’ve been consistently keeping up a Monday game night with whomever is home. We might play Old Maid or jackbox.tv. Modern Family has been popular around here too. I haven’t done any projects yet, but I am hoping to paint our foyer next week.

And now, about the traveling… In June, I went to New York City with Hannah. Bob was with us too, but he was working. We went biking in Central Park, visited a Van Gogh exhibit at The Met, tried out some new restaurants, and rested in the apartment. I think I decluttered the kitchen and cleaned too.

In July, Bob and I met in Los Angeles, and spent the day together. We took a one day tour.

The only reason we went to Los Angeles was because it was on the way to Fiji, where Bob had a work trip. Just like in England last spring, I tagged along and spent the days off on my own. I felt so much gratitude. As someone has said, the beauty of creation makes us think of the Creator, and brings up feelings of thankfulness. (I’m sure it was said in a much better way than that.)

Bula!!!

Last week, Joe, Rachel, Hannah, Mary, and I met Bob in New York City for a vacation week in our apartment. We did a lot of touristy things that Bob hadn’t done before, and we saw some great shows.

So now that I’m caught up, I can blog my little heart out. (Hopefully, it’ll be more than seasonally.)

Tortoise to Hare, and Back

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Wait. What just happened? I know today was the first day of school, but I feel so unprepared. It’s like I went from tortoise to hare overnight. I remember we were slowly creeping through Gilmore Girls: Season 1 with my mom, I was doing laps in my dad’s pool, going to daily Mass and frequenting Adoration… Then we went away for a week of not having to do anything; and came back to summer’s-over-get-busy!

I want to reflect on the season gone by in order to let it go and clear my head, making space for direction to come. I pray for clarity and the ability to focus on what’s important now.

This summer was enjoyable, but arguably the shortest one ever. Looking through my photos reminds me of some highlights. Hugh Jackman!! I’m so grateful I got to see him perform as Harold Hill. It was a fun weekend with Bobby, Joseph, Hannah, and Mary. Then there was the impromptu weekend in NYC with my father. I took him to Central Park and he took me to Yankee Stadium. I was surprised that he didn’t mind subways. We tired ourselves out climbing stairs, and walking, and we ordered a feast at an Italian restaurant that we ate for days. It was an unexpected blast!

The girls and I attended some summer concerts at a local park, I started decluttering the dreaded basement, there was a trimming the bushes weekend, and last week in the Poconos. It was relaxing, but it’s good to be back home.

Writing this out has helped me. It was a good summer. I’m realizing that I just did too much in the past few days. Once again, I want to slow down. Fall is a great time to get back to routines. I love order. It may take a little time to get there, so I won’t expect it to happen in one day. Slow and steady.

Springtime in New York

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

(Photos accompanied by a spring vacation meditation.)

Yes, Lord, I am tired of running the show – and tired of running. This has been a particularly long stretch. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it, but how much better everything would be with you. I miss you.

I want to be led – not driven. Please take me. I want to hold your hand. To slow down. To stop. To be still. To be within. To stop the noise and be quiet. I am finally alone with you. I am letting go of my agenda. I surrender. I know that your peace will come. I am yours now. I will do whatever you tell me. Your mother has helped me. Bobby and I prayed the rosary. She took my hands and brought me to you. Thank you, Mary.

There was Easter prep… shopping, cleaning, services, time with family. Vacation planning, a tennis match, a movie. Rushing… Gilmore Girls with Mom, cleaning, shopping for food, TV shows, a shop til you drop day. Preparing for the trip – laundry, cleaning, fixing broken pipes. Trying to make the house perfect. There was anxiety about leaving and coming. Anxiety about being late or early. I took everything into my own hands, and pushed to the limits. I ignored my feelings and my body. I could do more – sleep less – running on empty – running away from the silence. Wanting to control…

Something?? It’s OK. I’m just a human. I do what I don’t want to do – and don’t do what I truly want. I want my way and that will not make me happy. And I run from what will. I don’t need to figure anything out. Only to sit with you and be in your presence. Love you and others and myself. I am a sweet little human. Glad to have you save me Lord. I need you…

We was like peas and carrots again. I was blessed to attend Masses on Saturday and Sunday. And on Sunday afternoon, I walked in pleasant awareness that I was not alone, and not in charge. I walked through Brooklyn, across the Manhattan Bridge, around Chinatown, and back over the Brooklyn Bridge. There was no rush. It was a beautiful mixture of nature and architecture that seemed to be just for me to enjoy. I’ve read that spring is a season of renewal. Yeah, I’d agree with that.

Slow Paced

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Today I’m doing things I like to do that I rarely make time for, such as giving myself a pedicure and playing double solitaire. (You could add blogging in there too.)

Being a low maintenance person who rarely wears make-up, has not had my fingernails painted in almost twenty years, and has never plucked an eyebrow, you’d think I wouldn’t enjoy pedicures. On the contrary, they are the best sort of pampering. With the clipping, exfoliating, and soaking in warm water, they are both practical and pleasurable. Very satisfying. And if the nails are painted, they need no more attention for months.

As for double solitaire, I always appreciated the uncountable hours my grandparents spent playing cards with me when I was younger. It was the slow paced quality time that enabled me to talk freely and be myself. It helped me feel close to them. I asked for and received two brand new decks of playing cards for Christmas (with the intention of using them with my children.) I didn’t open them up until last night. Let me back up a bit.

I came to New York City with Bob this week mainly to put together a new TV stand while he was at work. I decided to make my ten year old, Mary, come with us. I wanted to spend some time alone with her. So yesterday, besides building the TV stand, we played Sleeping Queens, Lion King Uno, and you guessed it, double solitaire. And she even helped me get an app called Game Pigeon to play more games. I’m enjoying being with Mary and holding her hand as we walk through unfamiliar neighborhoods with her stuffed dog Dandee.

There’s a church nearby that has a 12:05 Mass. Yesterday we attended but left right before Adoration to come home to eat lunch. Today, a thunderstorm at the end of Mass encouraged us to linger longer, which I appreciated.

Back at the apartment, I put on a “Spa Day” playlist and gave Mary a pedicure while she played games on her iPad with a friend from home. I felt like a professional, but my nail painting needs practice. Then I gave myself a pedicure and wrote this post as I took breaks. The music and the being still has put me in a very relaxed state that I highly recommend.

Slow Down and Listen

/ Cheryl Wilcox / Leave a comment

Billy Joel is one of my favorite musicians. Vienna is one of my favorite Billy Joel songs. It popped into my head as I sat down to write this post. It begins…

Slow down, you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, well, tell me
Why are you still so afraid? Mm
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do
And only so many hours in a day

“Slow down” seems to be the theme of this blog, and maybe of my life. I often come here to ponder “aloud” my desires to be simple. To remind myself of what’s really important, which is doing God’s will and not my own. And slowing down seems to be the only way that I can hear my Lord. The noise of constant busyness drowns him out for me. I keep cycling between feeling close to Him, then doing too much work or socializing and not spending enough time with Him, and then feeling burnt out and disconnected. I’m learning that I love getting things done, I try to please others, and I tire easily. I seem to be married to the Energizer Bunny, and my life would most certainly be more boring without him. And I have six children and relationships with family and friends. I wonder if God has given me the gifts He has given me to continuously show me how much I need Him. Maybe I just need to keep practicing putting first things first.

So the details are, that I am recovering from two days of shopping, cleaning, triple birthday party prep and hosting. And that was after two weeks of traveling to and from New York City, including shopping, packing, and moving into our new apartment there. Yes, we have an apartment in NYC, and a home in Western Massachusetts. I don’t think I can call myself an aspiring minimalist anymore.

My husband will be commuting there for work. I have been helping to set up and furnish the place. It’s a big change happening in our lives, which means I really need to rely on God. And I need to not look into the unknown future, but to stay in the present moment, where He is with me. I need to slow down and listen.

I hear myself breathing. I try to drop all my worries and trust Him. He takes care of all always. I need to reject the illusion that I am in charge. I do not even want to be in charge. I will bring Him everything and let Him decide what the outcome will be.

Nothing needs to be done but what He asks me to do. I do not need to do things for Him to love me. My existence is enough. Every part of me, body and soul. There is not anything that I can do that will stop His love for me. And He tells me that when I am weak, He is strong. All my strength comes from Him alone. I don’t even think I can surrender without Him. His grace seems make it happen.

He tells me to enjoy the gift. He means of His Real Presence in the Blessed Sacrament, which I feel privileged to enjoy. But I think I should enjoy all the gifts. I have so much to be grateful for.