This month I’ll be working on what the FlyLady calls the most important routine of the day: the Before Bedtime Routine. It’s her Habit of the Month for September, which I think is an ideal time to focus on it.
After a summer of late nights and skipping this habit because I’m “too tired”, I’m ready to be more disciplined. I’m ready to add some structure to my evenings to make them a time to prepare for the next day, and to improve the transition into an earlier bedtime.
This is what mine looks like:
Food plan (for the next day, in MyFitnessPal)
Tidy the kitchen (do dishes, load the dishwasher, run the dishwasher, a.k.a. “Shine My Sink”)
Tidy the living room
Check my planner
Look at my index cards
Start my to-do list for the next day
Lay out my clothes for the next day
Get ready for bed (brush teeth, p.j.’s, etc)
Examen, night prayers
Read
Lights out by 10:00 pm
That looks long as a list. It’s only on four index cards. I estimate that it takes about an hour. I need to test it out to see if that’s true. And of course, I would need to get started pretty early if I want to read for a long time. I’ve really gotten away from doing this regularly. My shortcut is run the dishwasher, tidy the living room and hop into bed.
I’ll report back here in October with the results.
Now that we’re two weeks into 2025, I am finally ready to write again. The end of 2024 was such a whirlwind of busyness. I didn’t plan for that to happen, but it happened once again. Now I’m in that place where my eagerness to change my whole lifestyle has worn off, and I’m realizing that all I have is today. I’m not going to radically change my body, my home, or my habits in a couple of weeks. I’m just going to live one day at a time and focus on turning to God as much as possible each day.
Of course, the first thing I must write is a review of the end of 2024. It was a mixture of traditions and new experiences.
There were some field trips with Mary. First to Old Wethersfield, CT with my father-in-law, and then to Salem and Boston with my father, and my brother (who was up from Tennessee) and his girlfriend.
Joseph was in a community theater production of Beauty and the Beast.
Hannah was in the play, Big Fish, at her high school.
Sarah and Rachel sang in a choral concert at the college they both attend.
My friend, Carol, and I went on a Miles Christi Spiritual Exercises retreat in Wappingers Falls, New York.
We hosted Thanksgiving.
We had our annual tree trimming party.
Mary and I spent some time with Bobby in New York City. We saw loads of Christmas decorations, and we went to Madame Tussaud’s wax museum for the first time. It was one of the touristy things I had not done yet. 
I started a huge project. I made a slideshow of pictures of my Christmases from 1969 until 2024. I did it methodically, and it was very time-consuming. I still haven’t created the DVD yet, but after Christmas we did watch all four parts by connecting a laptop to the TV. A true family movie night.
I spent the day with my mom when she had eye surgery.
The girls and I went to my nephew Edward’s high school band concert.
Matthew turned 26.
Joseph turned 24.
I created a Christmas musical bingo game to play on Christmas Eve and we tested it out.
There was a lot of time spent Christmas shopping and wrapping presents.
We took pictures and made a Christmas card.
My sister and her family hosted Christmas with my mom.
We hosted Christmas Eve with my dad.
I attended midnight Mass. Rachel and Hannah sang in the choir.
On Christmas morning, we did our annual Santa pancakes and bacon breakfast and opening of gifts with the “kids” and Matthew’s fiancé, Anna.
Then we hosted Christmas with Bob’s side of the family on the 26th.
I took another trip to NYC with Bobby, Rachel and Hannah. Rachel wanted to see the decorations and Hannah wanted to see the Harry Styles pop-up store. We ended up seeing A Complete Unknown at the Lincoln Square AMC and it was so much fun. We considered New Year’s Eve in Times Square, but I wasn’t feeling up to par, and it was going to rain, so we came home on New Year’s Eve day.
And this brings me to 2025. I started a new method for keeping a schedule. It’s a combination of using a planner and the index card filing system laid out in the book, Sidetracked Home Executives. (These were some of my Christmas gifts from Bobby.) So far, I’m liking how it’s going. Maybe I’ll write a post about that sometime.
Mary and I have gotten back in the groove with homeschooling. For my meals and workouts this year, I decided to do the transformation challenge again. I successfully completed it last year and the results were amazing! Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with it. I went back to my unhealthy eating habits, and walking occasionally was my exercise. So I’m back to meal prepping on Mondays for the whole week and I’m doing great on that end. I haven’t been keeping up with the workouts. I did a bit too much on the first day and I could barely walk. Then I took a few days off. I’ve been procrastinating a lot when it’s time to work out. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do about this. I need to pray about it.
I’ve been taking down the Christmas decorations. Bobby turned 55 years old, so we’re the same age again. We celebrated his birthday last Sunday. A box of 60 eggs now costs $26.32. I remember a few years ago, when I first started buying these boxes at Walmart, they were $8.00. I got my haircut and I want to figure out how to style the layers. Or… I could just keep straightening it.
I love a new year with new possibilities!
I did spend some time reading my retreat notes from last November, and once again made some index cards to read every day to keep my focus on what’s most important. My resolutions this year are not really things I want to accomplish, but rather attitudes that I want to have. One of those attitudes is gratitude. I think this writing was helpful to me. I feel grateful for the blessings of 2024.
Writing always helps me to slow down. Sometimes my thoughts seem to go too fast and I feel like I’m not keeping up. I focus on the things that I’m not getting done. I can be way too hard on myself. But when I am still, and very quiet, I know that it’s enough. Everything is as it’s supposed to be at this moment.
A woman came running over to tell me that she was decluttering all the extra chairs that she took from her mom‘s house when her mom passed away a few months ago. She really didn’t need them. She had heard from my mother, about how I helped my mother get rid of the clutter in her home when she downsized. I told her honestly about how I keep decluttering the “downstairs”, which is what we call the first floor of our home. And how I never quite get around to the basement, which has piles of crap in it. The “upstairs”, or second floor, is mostly filled with stuff belonging to my children/young adults. Although, the school room contains a lot of my stuff too.
Today I was sorting through papers. I have these manila folders full of notes and PDF’s. I have a decluttering folder, an organizing time folder, an education folder… you get the idea. I’ve decided that I no longer need all of these notes. There was one paper that got me thinking while I was in the shower, which is one of the best places to think. It had notes about action faking, that were most likely from a YouTube video.
Action faking is procrastinating. It’s doing what we’re comfortable with and taking only the uncommitted actions. It does little to lead to actual progress.
Why are we action faking?
What are we trying to avoid?
Maybe there’s some kind of suffering attached?
Or not believing we’re capable?
This reminded me of the body transformation challenge that I am currently doing. Before I started, I was afraid. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of doing it. I talked about it with my father, who wondered if I would be able to finish it, and my mother, who was worried I’d lose too much weight, and my kids, who probably didn’t say much about it. When I told Bobby about the eight week challenge, he said, “Of course you could do that for seven weeks.” I corrected him by again telling him it was eight weeks, and he repeated, “Seven weeks is no problem.” (He’s my cheerleader.)
Well, it turned out, I started it two weeks early so now it’s a 10 week challenge and I’ve already finished seven weeks of it. It isn’t easy, but I’m not doing it alone. I know that God is helping me, because I keep asking him. I say things like, “Please help me to get through this next set.”
From my notes:
We may never feel completely ready.
Just take a step forward.
We can’t endlessly prepare if we want real results.
Decide what your first real action is, schedule it, and do it.
Avoidance creates the anxiety.
I’m not sure if all of that is true, but I know one thing, I am getting results in the challenge because I have been taking action.
I suspect this is why I haven’t been getting the results I want from my decluttering for the past 25 years. I’ve been just doing what I’m comfortable with, which is the downstairs. I’ve also been action faking/procrastinating by reading, watching YouTube videos, collecting notes on the subject… getting ready.
I had a college professor, who would say that if you read five books on a subject, you’re an expert. Well, I am an expert on simplifying, decluttering, minimalism, or whatever you would call it. I’ve probably read more than 40 books on the subject. I don’t believe that knowledge is power. It may give me some advantage, but without action directed toward my goal, I’m not gonna get there.
I believe prayer is powerful. God supplies the power. I’m going to pray that I will stop getting ready and start taking action. My first step is going to be getting rid of some of these action faking papers. I know what to do.
I can’t believe it’s been more than four months since my last post. And yet I shouldn’t be surprised, because long stretches between posts have been a pattern for me. It seems like when I “come here” in the mood to write, I feel obligated to explain where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. So let me just get my excuses for not writing out of the way.
They are as follows: homeschooling, parenting, Italy, remodeling the half-bath, Plum Island, parties, NYC with Mary, decluttering, home maintenance, NYC with my sister, holidays, plays, deep cleaning, decorating, Christmas shopping, wrapping, movies, puzzles, cooking, celebrations, taking down decorations, and trying to maintain relationships and my spiritual condition.
So today is Day 15 of the Catechism in a Year, and I’m on Day 10. I’m also on Day 10 of a 30-Day Organizing Boot Camp, of which I’ve completed 16 of the assignments. If that didn’t make sense, it means I’m a little behind on my studying the Catechism of the Catholic Church and a little ahead on my decluttering and organizing my entire house. I expect to get behind on the latter when I get to the storage areas assignment, which for me is the dreaded basement. Maybe I’m being dramatic. It’s not as bad as I imagine it to be. I made a great deal of progress on it in November. The problem is that I always give up when it gets hard, and I don’t finish the whole house. Well not this year!!!
Let’s talk about books. The start of a new year always gets me assessing where I’m at in many areas, and reading is one of those areas. I find myself, as usual, with a list of books I am “currently reading”. This means I started them, but do I want to finish them? I’ve decided that 2023 is the year I will finally read The Lord of the Rings. I’m starting with The Hobbit. I also plan to finish the last few pages of Letters and Instructions of St. Ignatius Loyola. That’s all I have decided so far. There are so many good options. I will commit to one soon.
I’m not going to attempt to plan out my whole year as I did in the past, by setting goals and breaking them down and getting things done. While organizing crafts and hobby supplies, I found my old planners. The first one was an original Franklin Covey planner and the year was 2000. Yes, I have 22 years of them. Skimming through them I found it interesting that 2020 was noticeably emptier.
Anyway, I’m starting out 2023 by planning for the week ahead. I start by scheduling the activities that I already committed to, like giving rides. Then things important for my spiritual wellbeing, such as adoration. I also track daily habits I’d like to form or strengthen. I thought I’d ease into physical habits to make it easier for me to develop them. The first week I focused on sleep. I went to bed early and got up early. Yay! The second week I added drinking water. I met my daily water intake goals. Yay! But my sleeping plan failed miserably. I got into eating chocolate and staying up late reading or watching YouTube videos on my phone in bed. This week I’m going to try going back to the 5-0. (It’s going to bed and getting up at regular times, calorie counting, drinking water, exercising, and journaling. It’s basically taking care of my body.) I’ll need to take one day at a time and pray for help to do this. And a media fast wouldn’t hurt.
Speaking of media, and media fasting, today I watched a video I found fascinating. A man on a channel called Sips with Aquinas was interviewing Dr. Peter Kreeft. It was so interesting that I took notes. He listed the only three reasons why anybody ought to do anything according to Aquinas: 1. moral duty, 2. practical necessity, and 3. fun. There’s some food for thought. So, if I’m considering doing something, and it doesn’t meet any of these three criteria…
He was making the point that we make our lives more complex rather than simplify them. And why? Why are we so harried and hassled? Why do we complexify? And I like this one: Why do we put ourselves in a spider’s web? He says we are bored. I call it running away. The not wanting to slow down and sit quietly. He says it takes too much effort. It’s because of sloth. I’ve read about this before and would like to ponder it more in the future. And one last idea: If you don’t believe in a real Heaven, you have to try to make a heaven on earth, and that’s going to keep you very, very, busy forever.
In conclusion, once more, I was able to bring a bunch of wandering thoughts back to the theme of this blog: Slowing Down.
In 2018, I resolved to make some changes. I wrote about them in my first post. I completed my Whole 30, and then from Superbowl Sunday until Mardi Gras, one could say that I took a break from healthy eating. So I decided to recommit to my resolutions for Lent, which began on February 14th this year. Here is what I’m doing:
Eating healthy. I’m doing another six weeks of eating Whole 30 compliant foods. Maybe this time I will be able to do the reintroduction of foods when it’s over and see which foods affect me negatively, if any.
Exercising. (5 times a week for at least 30 minutes) I have only been doing the Couch to 5K weeks one and two so far. But I think I might step it up with Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I know that it will work my arms and abs (and everything) much more than the walking and running. I also own her Ripped in 30. That is super hard for me.
Daily meditation. I usually start by reading from a book called The Language of Letting Go. A friend gave me a copy of it years ago, before I met Bobby, at a time in my life when I was trying to take better care of myself. I loved it, then passed it on. I recently purchased a second one, and it’s as good as I remember. I’m at another time in my life when I am trying to take better care of myself after years of letting my physical and emotional needs be low priority. I’ve also been watching the daily videos from Dynamic Catholic’s Best Lent Ever. So far, they seem to go right along with this theme of self-care. I usually do some journaling and spend about 15 minutes talking to God (like a friend) and listening in quiet.
Continuing Operation Joyful Space. I’ll admit, progress has been slow. I need to remind myself of why this is important to me, and stop the time-wasting distractions. I visualize this project as taking things off of my overflowing plate, or taking a weight off my shoulders. I long for a calm, orderly, peaceful environment. My ideal home is tidy. There are places for everything. Only what we love, use (or will use at a specific time) would be in it. It would be beautiful… with candles, flowers, art, music and space. Everything in it would be in good repair, taken care of, maintained. It would be comfortable and cozy. In addition, my life would have rhythms or routines, balance, and time for what’s important. (satisfied sigh sound) That’s why I need to persevere!
The Menstrual Journal. (shown above) This is not for Lent. I’m doing this for three months as recommended by my OB/GYN. This is a new interest for me. Science was my least favorite subject in school. In fact, I liked every subject except for science. I’ve said for years that I have a mental block when it comes to medical things. And I used to get bored when anyone would talk about food and nutrition. And food talk, channels, shows, allergies, photos and foodies seem to have increased over the years. Food talk seems trendy now. BORING! Then I found out I was having problems with my hormones. Suddenly, I’m reading about medical stuff. Around the same time, I began to have a desire to take better care of my body, mostly to have more energy, but also to stop the night snacking. I believe eating when I’m not hungry dulls the mind and can numb feelings too. I may be getting off track here….but my point is that now I’m interested in hormones, and my menstrual cycle, and how food affects it, etc. I’m considering that being aware of my cycle may be a key ingredient in self-care. So I’m actually enjoying keeping this journal. And I’m tracking my food, sleep, exercise and feelings in it too.
I will continue to read, learn, pray and act in ways that will make me physically, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally healthier.
I started this blog almost a month ago. Since I haven’t posted in over three weeks, I am writing a little update about what I’ve been doing.
I successfully completed my Whole30. It’s way to early to tell if it will change my life or not. I did lose 7 pounds, learned to cook many new recipes, and improved my food label reading. And I did often feel like my mind was clearer and I had a good amount of energy, but I also found out this month that I have a uterus related medical problem. I had to temporarily take hormone medication that I believe made me tired and nauseous at times, screwing up my Whole30 results. I’ve continued to eat many Whole30 compliant meals and I’ve reintroduced food occasionally without being able to tell if the way I felt was related to food or other changes in my body. I also have kept up with my plan to exercise at least 5 times a week for 30 minutes. The Greatest Showman was my go to music almost daily, but I did listen to Something Rotten a few times.
Operation Joyful Space is in progress, but I am behind in my schedule. This is partly from sickness, and partly from an unexpected project that came up. Bobby has been wanting new living room furniture for quite some time now, and last week we shopped, purchased and rearranged the stuff in our home for many days and nights. I don’t think we are finished yet. We might be changing the wall hangings or end tables, but I can get back to my decluttering project now. I hope to write about my progress soon.
9:00 tuna, arugula, part of an apple, celery (only ate 1/2 of plate)
I went to bed early and had the most horrible night’s sleep.
Day 5:
8:00 I met my friend, Karen, at Crepes Tea House in West Springfield, MA. I ate 2 hard boiled eggs and drank one of their fruit and vegetable power drinks.
I’m beginning this year with a BANG! I’m making lots of changes around here, such as starting a new blog and making it public. Here is where I’ll write about all the other changes I’m making too.
In 2018, I started doing a Whole30. This is drastic for sugar-loving me. I’ll admit my biggest reservation about starting it was giving up eating movie popcorn, “with extra butter layered,” as my husband requests it. So far I’m doing well. I’m cooking my butt off; and cooking, for those of you who know me well, is not something I do frequently. Unless you count popping frozen food into the oven.
I’m also exercising. No killer workouts for me. I’m taking it easy, but committing to doing it almost daily. Let’s say five times a week for at least 30 minutes. Last week I did the Couch to 5K (week one) five times on an old treadmill we have in our basement.
The next thing I’m doing is not much of a change. I’m decluttering my home. Yeah, I know I’ve been trying to get totally organized for 20 years now, but I mapped out a plan to finish my whole house in six months. This means that by June 30, 2018, everything in my home should have a place, and all of my own stuff will be used or loved (or both), including sentimental and digital clutter. That is the goal. I plan to take baby steps daily to get there.
Finally, I’m making daily prayer and meditation a priority. This, more than any other thing, will be a change for the better.
Unruffled Peace 