This month I’ll be working on what the FlyLady calls the most important routine of the day: the Before Bedtime Routine. It’s her Habit of the Month for September, which I think is an ideal time to focus on it.
After a summer of late nights and skipping this habit because I’m “too tired”, I’m ready to be more disciplined. I’m ready to add some structure to my evenings to make them a time to prepare for the next day, and to improve the transition into an earlier bedtime.
This is what mine looks like:
Food plan (for the next day, in MyFitnessPal)
Tidy the kitchen (do dishes, load the dishwasher, run the dishwasher, a.k.a. “Shine My Sink”)
Tidy the living room
Check my planner
Look at my index cards
Start my to-do list for the next day
Lay out my clothes for the next day
Get ready for bed (brush teeth, p.j.’s, etc)
Examen, night prayers
Read
Lights out by 10:00 pm
That looks long as a list. It’s only on four index cards. I estimate that it takes about an hour. I need to test it out to see if that’s true. And of course, I would need to get started pretty early if I want to read for a long time. I’ve really gotten away from doing this regularly. My shortcut is run the dishwasher, tidy the living room and hop into bed.
I’ll report back here in October with the results.
It’s Sunday, a good day to rest. Today I am reflecting on the past week. It started out with my trying to live a more orderly life, and ended in a flurry of activity. I think what got me off track was a project. I have a tendency to lose myself in projects. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. In this case, I was taking advantage of momentum.
Let me explain. I have four projects that I’m working on this month. I post them on the chalkboard in my kitchen to constantly remind me of what projects I consider to be the current priorities.
On Thursday, I decided to work on the preparing for St. Mary’s High School project; specifically, I wanted to find school uniform pants for my daughters. It turned out that we have hand-me-down pants that will fit Mary. Hannah needs new pants. I also thought that I would help Mary to remove some of the stuffed animals from her bed (and declutter or organize all the ones in her room) and get her new bedding, since hers was kind of old and worn. After a trip to the mall, where we didn’t buy any pants or bedding, but bought new pillows and some closet, organizing tools, Mary and I started organizing the dolls. This somehow turned into an all day declutter and organize the whole room project. I felt OK about it because they were motivated, and though I wasn’t planning on doing this anytime soon, it is part of the third project on my list: home assignments. That project involves decluttering and finding homes for all the things we are keeping.
On Friday, I finished decluttering my bathroom and the living room, and then my daughter Rachel, asked if we could declutter the school room. That’s what we call a large room above our garage, where we used to all homeschool, and what is currently Rachel‘s bedroom. You can see it in the room tour, but it didn’t look anything like that on Friday. (Why didn’t I take before and after pictures?) Anyway, just imagine piles of books, clothes, games, DVD’s, nail polishes, and papers.
I couldn’t say no to someone wanting to declutter with me! So we methodically went through the room clockwise, discussing all of the items we picked up, and either keeping them or putting them into one of the boxes: GIVE AWAY ( to donate or sell), PUT AWAY (belongs in another room), KEEP – STORAGE (is going somewhere in the basement), TRASH, and PAPER TRASH. I will go through the books at another time and I have a cabinet of photos, memorabilia and scrapbook supplies that will become another project someday, but we consider the room finished. I think we worked till about 11:30 at night I was all-in.
On Saturday, I had plans in the morning, but in the afternoon I worked on the dining room and my kitchen desk area. Then I was too tired to do anymore.
If you’ve read this blog, or know me in real life, you know that I’ve been trying to “finish” this decluttering and finding a place for everything project for years. My father keeps telling me that I will never catch up on home maintenance. I think he means that there will always be chores to do and something to fix. I agree with him on that. But I envision having a place for everything and everything in its place. I desire to have every room maintained as well as I would if I was going to put the house on the market. I understand that when I get to that point, I will need to continue to fix things when they break and to do chores daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally, and annually to maintain it. But I’m not giving up on my goal of getting to that point.
I think I see this project as similar to my transformation challenges. (In which I followed a strict meal plan and difficult, time-consuming strength training workouts, along with cardio, for eight weeks or more.) Both require a large commitment, and a lot of work. They seem overwhelming if I look from where I am at the beginning, to where I want to be at the end. But if I just take it one day at a time, and do the next task, I make progress. Over a period of time, I can reach my goals. The extreme, tedious actions are only temporary. Then, I can maintain what I have achieved with good habits.
At the beginning of 2024, I wrote three posts on habits, routines, and resolutions. This is my post on projects. I am thinking about how I can work on my projects in a more balanced way, without giving up my habits, routines, and resolutions.  I also see the value in going “all-in” with a project when you’re in the mood and when you have willing helpers.
I think my next post will be about systems. I’ve been tweaking my current system of index cards and a big fat planner. I’d love to write about it soon.
One of the projects I’m currently working on is assigning homes for all of my personal possessions and the items my family shares. I’ve come to realize that when an item doesn’t have a home, it makes it very hard to put it away. Where does it go? It usually ends up somewhere it doesn’t belong and it becomes clutter. I think this is the way piles are born.
I started this last year. I took some old sheets of paper and sketched the places where things are stored in each room. So in my bedroom, for example, I sketched the nightstand drawers and my dresser drawers. Then, I wrote in tiny letters what goes in those drawers. I did the same for my closet, the bathroom cabinets, etc. Now, when I want to tidy up or declutter, I can look at those sketches and see what should be in those drawers or on those shelves. The extra items will need to be tossed or assigned homes.
So far, I’ve gone through my kitchen desk, the pantry, the living room, and my bedroom. I purged a lot, and I’m starting to gather up a little collection of things I don’t know what to do with. They are mostly gifts that we don’t need, and probably won’t use, but they’re in perfectly good condition. Maybe donations?
I’ve also found things that require some action, such as: gift cards to be used up, new felt pads and socks for our kitchen chairs, and parts of things that need to be repaired. I’ve been trying to do those tasks.
I felt like writing about this tonight to motivate myself. I like to see in writing the purpose, which is really the benefit of the project. It also gives me clarity. It’s like telling a kindred spirit my ideas about simplifying my life. There’s so much scope for imagination.
Now that we’re two weeks into 2025, I am finally ready to write again. The end of 2024 was such a whirlwind of busyness. I didn’t plan for that to happen, but it happened once again. Now I’m in that place where my eagerness to change my whole lifestyle has worn off, and I’m realizing that all I have is today. I’m not going to radically change my body, my home, or my habits in a couple of weeks. I’m just going to live one day at a time and focus on turning to God as much as possible each day.
Of course, the first thing I must write is a review of the end of 2024. It was a mixture of traditions and new experiences.
There were some field trips with Mary. First to Old Wethersfield, CT with my father-in-law, and then to Salem and Boston with my father, and my brother (who was up from Tennessee) and his girlfriend.
Joseph was in a community theater production of Beauty and the Beast.
Hannah was in the play, Big Fish, at her high school.
Sarah and Rachel sang in a choral concert at the college they both attend.
My friend, Carol, and I went on a Miles Christi Spiritual Exercises retreat in Wappingers Falls, New York.
We hosted Thanksgiving.
We had our annual tree trimming party.
Mary and I spent some time with Bobby in New York City. We saw loads of Christmas decorations, and we went to Madame Tussaud’s wax museum for the first time. It was one of the touristy things I had not done yet. 
I started a huge project. I made a slideshow of pictures of my Christmases from 1969 until 2024. I did it methodically, and it was very time-consuming. I still haven’t created the DVD yet, but after Christmas we did watch all four parts by connecting a laptop to the TV. A true family movie night.
I spent the day with my mom when she had eye surgery.
The girls and I went to my nephew Edward’s high school band concert.
Matthew turned 26.
Joseph turned 24.
I created a Christmas musical bingo game to play on Christmas Eve and we tested it out.
There was a lot of time spent Christmas shopping and wrapping presents.
We took pictures and made a Christmas card.
My sister and her family hosted Christmas with my mom.
We hosted Christmas Eve with my dad.
I attended midnight Mass. Rachel and Hannah sang in the choir.
On Christmas morning, we did our annual Santa pancakes and bacon breakfast and opening of gifts with the “kids” and Matthew’s fiancé, Anna.
Then we hosted Christmas with Bob’s side of the family on the 26th.
I took another trip to NYC with Bobby, Rachel and Hannah. Rachel wanted to see the decorations and Hannah wanted to see the Harry Styles pop-up store. We ended up seeing A Complete Unknown at the Lincoln Square AMC and it was so much fun. We considered New Year’s Eve in Times Square, but I wasn’t feeling up to par, and it was going to rain, so we came home on New Year’s Eve day.
And this brings me to 2025. I started a new method for keeping a schedule. It’s a combination of using a planner and the index card filing system laid out in the book, Sidetracked Home Executives. (These were some of my Christmas gifts from Bobby.) So far, I’m liking how it’s going. Maybe I’ll write a post about that sometime.
Mary and I have gotten back in the groove with homeschooling. For my meals and workouts this year, I decided to do the transformation challenge again. I successfully completed it last year and the results were amazing! Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with it. I went back to my unhealthy eating habits, and walking occasionally was my exercise. So I’m back to meal prepping on Mondays for the whole week and I’m doing great on that end. I haven’t been keeping up with the workouts. I did a bit too much on the first day and I could barely walk. Then I took a few days off. I’ve been procrastinating a lot when it’s time to work out. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do about this. I need to pray about it.
I’ve been taking down the Christmas decorations. Bobby turned 55 years old, so we’re the same age again. We celebrated his birthday last Sunday. A box of 60 eggs now costs $26.32. I remember a few years ago, when I first started buying these boxes at Walmart, they were $8.00. I got my haircut and I want to figure out how to style the layers. Or… I could just keep straightening it.
I love a new year with new possibilities!
I did spend some time reading my retreat notes from last November, and once again made some index cards to read every day to keep my focus on what’s most important. My resolutions this year are not really things I want to accomplish, but rather attitudes that I want to have. One of those attitudes is gratitude. I think this writing was helpful to me. I feel grateful for the blessings of 2024.
Writing always helps me to slow down. Sometimes my thoughts seem to go too fast and I feel like I’m not keeping up. I focus on the things that I’m not getting done. I can be way too hard on myself. But when I am still, and very quiet, I know that it’s enough. Everything is as it’s supposed to be at this moment.
I’m taking photos and letting it go. I can’t say that about most of the possessions I’ve looked at during my April Declutter Challenge. Letting go is not easy.
These are the areas or categories I have gone through so far: DVD’s, the TV stand and end tables, sheet music (Sarah did it), the hutch, my nightstand, my clothing, my dresser, my closet, my books, the master bathroom closet and vanity, the foyer closet, my kitchen desk cabinets, the kitchen cabinets and drawers, the fridge and freezer, the utility closet, the pantry, the extra closet, the mudroom, the 1/2 bath cabinets and drawers, the upstairs bathroom closet and vanity, art supplies, fiction books, picture books, scrapbooking supplies, photos, planners, office supplies, homeschool curricula… Phew!
I know it’s boring, I just wanted to see what I have accomplished. I’ve been stuck in the school room/Rachel’s bedroom for at least two weeks. Sometimes it’s been emotional. I am planning to homeschool for one more year. My youngest child (who will be a teenager in a week!) will be an eighth grader next year and will likely go to high school, as her siblings did. I’m letting go of curricula that I know we won’t be using next year, or ever.
I’ve felt sadness about not using some of the things I had planned to use. There are so many unfulfilled ideas/desires. There’s also a sadness from the good memories I have of being in that room with my beautiful, little children. It’s the same feeling I get during the movie You’ve Got Mail. If you haven’t seen it, then this is a spoiler alert. If you have seen it, then you might understand. Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is closing the bookstore that her late mother used to own before she owned it. After going through the process of selling everything but the shelving, she comes to her last night alone in the store. She looks back at the almost empty room and sees a memory of her mother twirling her around when she was a little girl. Add in the dramatic music and I get a lump in my throat every time. It’s that happy and sad at the same time kind of feeling. It’s the grieving of lost moments that will never return, mixed with gratitude that you were blessed to experience them.
I remember the excitement I’d feel at the beginning of a homeschool year. I was so hopeful. I loved planning, setting up the space, getting organized… I so enjoyed reading aloud while they were drawing…. Of course, they didn’t enjoy doing a lot of the work. It was far from perfect. But we had some good times. And just like that… it’s over.
I want to let the past go, appreciate the fine people that they are today, and enjoy my present lifestyle. In many ways, it’s better than the “old days.” But I am keeping many of the books that we own. I don’t know if this is prudent or if I might be trying to hang onto the past. I have this idea in my head that someday I’ll have a cute little library in whatever home I live in. Sure, we are not using these books now, but we might use them someday. Am I making excuses? Am I too attached to material possessions? Actually, I was gonna get rid of more of the picture books, but the kids wouldn’t let me. We kept a lot that I wouldn’t miss.
After books, I moved on to scrapbooks and there are a lot to finish. And photos… there are a lot to scan. All of that will have to wait until I finish decluttering the whole house, and other projects that are higher priority. My daughter, Rachel, is graduating from high school at the end of this month. I have made graduation slideshows for each of the three older children and it is expected that I will make one for Rachel. This will be a very large project. I took the first step yesterday by bringing my laptop to a repair shop.
When I was feeling scared and overwhelmed, this passage kept me going. It was on a calendar in the closet. Just what I needed to see at that April moment.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me, you can do nothing.”
John 15:5
So true.
Whether I’m letting go or not letting go, I am not alone.
I already make my bed regularly. So for April, I’m giving myself another chance to succeed with the February habit. I’m calling it a “challenge” and I’m tracking my progress on a pretty little paper I found on this website. I just finished the first week.
Before I started, I think I was having some anxiety about failing again. I have been trying to declutter and organize my house completely for 25 years. Why haven’t I done it yet? I start, and then I get sidetracked. Check this out.
This book was published in 1981, and I believe it was the inspiration for the Flylady’s methods. I’ve been wanting to read it for years. I suddenly had the urge to read it, after I had just said I don’t need to read more books on simplifying in my action faking a.k.a. procrastinating post. So what did I do? I signed up for an Internet Archive account, and I borrowed it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, though sometimes it kept me up way past my “bedtime.”
I was extremely tempted to buy all the supplies to set up my 3 x 5 index card file and try-out their cleaning method. But then it occurred to me that this might be action faking. Was I trying to avoid my feelings about starting the decluttering challenge? Was I worried that I wasn’t capable of finishing what I start?
We can’t endlessly prepare if we want real results.
I resisted the temptation. I told myself that if I really want to start a new cleaning method, I can do it after I finish decluttering the whole house. For now, I will focus one day at a time on making progress. I will trust that God will help me if I continue to ask him for help.
I am using the Sidetracked Home Executives’ strategy for putting the house in order. It’s basically: start at the front door and go clockwise through the house, decluttering drawers, cabinets, and closets. Skip the kitchen and do it when you finish the rest of the first floor. Then, go upstairs and work your way around clockwise from the stairs. Then, go to the basement and work clockwise from those stairs. Then finally, clockwise around the garage. Sounds simple enough.
The S.H.E.’s say that the disorder in their house happened because they closed the doors on it. “Psychiatrists call it repression. We called it all dressed up with a dirty neck.” I really enjoyed their sense of humor.
I also liked hearing the origin stories of many of the tools I’ve used for years. When I declutter, I usually sort into these boxes: GIVE AWAY, PUT AWAY, and THROW AWAY. (I call it TRASH.) I learned that they came up with the PUT AWAY box as an “anti-sidetracking device”. It was the breakthrough they were looking for because when they would go return items to other rooms, they would get sidetracked. With this “innovation” they would stay glued to the spot they were working on. I have added another box from this book called STORAGE. It’s suggested that these items get put aside in an area to be sorted when I’m ready to set up the storage area.
The first struggle I have encountered this week has been thinking that I have a long way to go. This was addressed in the book. “Don’t be discouraged at how long a job takes.” They say it takes the average person six weeks to work her way back to the front door, and maybe twelve weeks if you work outside of the home. And it took them three months. They say to keep reminding yourself, “I didn’t get myself into this mess overnight, and I’m not going to get out of it overnight.”
I’m just happy that I’m taking real action, and I am confident that I will have real results.
A woman came running over to tell me that she was decluttering all the extra chairs that she took from her mom‘s house when her mom passed away a few months ago. She really didn’t need them. She had heard from my mother, about how I helped my mother get rid of the clutter in her home when she downsized. I told her honestly about how I keep decluttering the “downstairs”, which is what we call the first floor of our home. And how I never quite get around to the basement, which has piles of crap in it. The “upstairs”, or second floor, is mostly filled with stuff belonging to my children/young adults. Although, the school room contains a lot of my stuff too.
Today I was sorting through papers. I have these manila folders full of notes and PDF’s. I have a decluttering folder, an organizing time folder, an education folder… you get the idea. I’ve decided that I no longer need all of these notes. There was one paper that got me thinking while I was in the shower, which is one of the best places to think. It had notes about action faking, that were most likely from a YouTube video.
Action faking is procrastinating. It’s doing what we’re comfortable with and taking only the uncommitted actions. It does little to lead to actual progress.
Why are we action faking?
What are we trying to avoid?
Maybe there’s some kind of suffering attached?
Or not believing we’re capable?
This reminded me of the body transformation challenge that I am currently doing. Before I started, I was afraid. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of doing it. I talked about it with my father, who wondered if I would be able to finish it, and my mother, who was worried I’d lose too much weight, and my kids, who probably didn’t say much about it. When I told Bobby about the eight week challenge, he said, “Of course you could do that for seven weeks.” I corrected him by again telling him it was eight weeks, and he repeated, “Seven weeks is no problem.” (He’s my cheerleader.)
Well, it turned out, I started it two weeks early so now it’s a 10 week challenge and I’ve already finished seven weeks of it. It isn’t easy, but I’m not doing it alone. I know that God is helping me, because I keep asking him. I say things like, “Please help me to get through this next set.”
From my notes:
We may never feel completely ready.
Just take a step forward.
We can’t endlessly prepare if we want real results.
Decide what your first real action is, schedule it, and do it.
Avoidance creates the anxiety.
I’m not sure if all of that is true, but I know one thing, I am getting results in the challenge because I have been taking action.
I suspect this is why I haven’t been getting the results I want from my decluttering for the past 25 years. I’ve been just doing what I’m comfortable with, which is the downstairs. I’ve also been action faking/procrastinating by reading, watching YouTube videos, collecting notes on the subject… getting ready.
I had a college professor, who would say that if you read five books on a subject, you’re an expert. Well, I am an expert on simplifying, decluttering, minimalism, or whatever you would call it. I’ve probably read more than 40 books on the subject. I don’t believe that knowledge is power. It may give me some advantage, but without action directed toward my goal, I’m not gonna get there.
I believe prayer is powerful. God supplies the power. I’m going to pray that I will stop getting ready and start taking action. My first step is going to be getting rid of some of these action faking papers. I know what to do.
It’s Day 9. I’m trying a new method of decluttering. Each day, I set the timer on my phone for 20 minutes and work until the timer goes off. So far, I’ve gone through my bathroom, my nightstand, my dresser and bedroom closet, the living room, the dining room, the pantry, two kitchen closets, the kitchen cabinets and drawers, and part of the mudroom. I also cleared out stuff my daughters decluttered from their rooms and left in the upstairs hallway. This method seems to be going well so far, but I haven’t gotten to any of the difficult areas yet. If I feel like it, I may do more than 20 minutes. That doesn’t usually happen on the weekdays.
The end of October and early November is usually when I feel really in the mood to get my house in order. I always get hopeful that I will get through the entire house, including the basement, but it has never happened. At some point, I become a couch potato, watching Christmas movies surrounded by Christmas lights, blankets and family members.
But this year it might really happen. I mean, 20 minutes a day is doable, right? I wonder how long it will take to get through my whole house…
This weekend is supposed to be sunny and 76°. I plan to work on what I call “winterizing.“ It’s bringing in the outdoor furniture, cleaning out the garage, moving items to the basement and shed so that we can park vehicles in there, etc. Hopefully, some young people will be around to help me.
Home maintenance is a big part of my life. Mowing the lawn (lately), repairing and replacing items, cleaning, shopping, cooking, storing, organizing, tidying…. Maybe the decluttering is giving me hope that I can lighten the load a little.
It has long been a desire of mine to simplify my life. I have tried so many times and then I lose focus. I don’t believe I can do this on my own. What am I thinking? I can’t do anything on my own. I will ask God to help me to stay focused and not get distracted. I trust that with His strength I will be able to do it, if it is His will.
This month began with me getting sick. I literally spent the first day of October sick in bed. When I started to feel better, I moved into the living room, where I finished The Big Bang Theory. Bobby was away in New York City and then in Colombia, South America. The first thing to break down, if you don’t include me, was the clothes dryer. It was a case of: you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. I have taken for granted the value of this appliance. It works hard in our household. It was 17 years old and expected. I immediately ordered a new one. It was up and running in less than a week.
The next thing to go was the washer. I totally didn’t see that coming. And what are the chances of it breaking down at the same time as the dryer? It was our second washer in the 17 years living in this house, so not as old. I unsuccessfully tried a $2 fix I found on YouTube. Then I bought a $34 part, and I installed it after watching about two dozen YouTube videos. Success!
It was when our three week old lawnmower stopped self-propelling that I felt really frustrated. You don’t need to hear that story. It was a mixture of sickness, wet clothing, a minor injury and getting take-out. It’s behind me now. And the mower is in a shop in Holyoke.
Last weekend, I enjoyed a trip to Wadkins Glen with Bobby’s family. We stayed in a house on Seneca Lake. We went hiking and did a 2000 piece puzzle. It was beautiful there and lots of fun. When we returned home on Sunday, there was a little puddle on the floor in the kitchen. And the next day there was an error code on the dishwasher. After taking it apart and scoping out the situation, we decided to replace it. I bought a new one last night and hopefully that is the last thing that will break down for awhile.
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln
I’m in the middle (gosh I hope it’s the middle) of remodeling my foyer. As usual, I’ve underestimated the amount of time it’s going to take me to get the job done. I think I started on Saturday with the buying supplies, emptying the room, and spackling and sanding. I continued the prep work on Monday, and Tuesday morning. Then I covered the floor and taped some areas. I started painting the trim around 4:00 p.m. and finished the first coat around 11:00 p.m. Today I completed the second coat after working from 10:15-6:00. At some point, I noticed some pretty negative thoughts were going through my mind. The project was taking too long, I had a long way to go, it was looking awful so far, the house is a mess, this is so much work, I missed one of the last beautiful days of summer, I hope this comes out OK…
Fortunately, I realized that I have a choice in what kind of attitude I want to have. I choose to be grateful. I even wrote down a list of things I am currently grateful for. There is no need to feel bad for myself. I really had a good day.
Unruffled Peace 