Bobby, Joe, Rachel, Hannah, Mary and I spent a week at the Cape. It went by so fast. We watched a lot of movies, went to the beach a few times, and played blind karaoke. That was a little scary for me. I was disappointed to learn that I don’t know the words to very many songs, even though I always thought I knew so many! It turns out I only know parts of them.

We did one puzzle, watched Percy Jackson season one (eight episodes!) and played billiards, daily? I know we had ice cream for dinner once, went kayaking on the pond, and I read Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself. (This is part of my rereading the Judy Blume books I read as a kid, as an adult.) I also started rereading The Intellectual Life, which has got me thinking about how I spend my time. More on this in another post I hope.

Here are some photos.

What is the difference between a habit and a routine? Instead of looking up definitions, I’m going to define them in my own words. A habit is something that you do regularly, automatically, without thinking about it. There can be good ones, or bad ones. For example, brushing my teeth is a good habit. Scrolling on YouTube in bed, late at night, is a bad habit. In my last post, I shared that I was working on creating new habits such as shining my sink, which is going well; and decluttering for 15 minutes a day, which is not going well. My success comes when I practice the new habit daily, one day at a time.

I think that routines are different than habits. I’ve read that they’re more intentional. They are a series of activities done regularly, together. I’ve been trying to establish a before-bedtime routine and a morning routine. I went old-school here. I wrote lists of things that I wanted to do before bed and in the morning; then I made copies of these lists and used a paper cutter. No high-tech methods for me. I am a box checker, so it’s quite fun. So far, I have been more successful with the morning routine. Many times I don’t start the bedtime routine early enough, and I skip parts of it. I will continue to practice. I believe in progress not perfection.

I guess you could say I’ve also started a new workout routine. I’ve worked out six days a week for four weeks now. The time I do it varies depending on the day. I’ve also started to meal prep my lunches and dinners on Mondays after I food shop. I plan to continue these new routines until Easter. I don’t know what I will do after that, but I’ve made a commitment to myself to complete an online challenge that I’ve joined. The challenge ends on March 28, which is Holy Thursday. I love that I will be eating in a disciplined way throughout Lent. I also plan to fast from YouTube during Lent. It will be interesting to see how that goes.

If I continue practicing these routines throughout the next six weeks, I think I will be living a more ordered life. In addition to more order, the elimination of YouTube may give me some much needed silence, provided that I don’t substitute it with another type of noise or distraction. Putting first things first is always a goal of mine, though losing focus seems to happen frequently. In my next post, I will talk about resolutions.

I want to talk about habits, routines, and resolutions. I’ll do this in a series of posts.

Let’s start with habits.

In my last post, I said that I was revisiting the Flylady website, and that I started implementing some of her ideas. In January, I successfully “shined my sink” almost every night. I didn’t literally shine my sink; but that’s what I call it when I either load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, or wash them by hand. And then I rinse out the sink and wipe down the counters. Since the Flylady’s habit of the month worked out so well in January, I am going to continue to do it; and add in the February habit of the month, which is decluttering for 15 minutes a day. I know I said I was doing this last fall, but of course I got sidetracked by the holidays as I usually do. And even though I only started today (February 7th), I think February is a fine time to implement this habit. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Today I’m in the mood to write. Unfortunately, it’s been three months, so I need to catch up once again. How about monthly highlights with pictures?

November

I’ll also include one Halloween photo with the November pictures since it happened after my last blog post. My daughters, Hannah and Mary were dressed as Daddy and Peppa Pig. My son, Joe, was “Ken” and my daughter Rachel was a modern Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

In November, Hannah introduced me to the Ambience videos on YouTube. I really liked the hobbit houses. The jazz coffee shops, and the Christmas scenes were also helpful in my efforts to slow down, especially on Sundays. The hammock I received the previous Christmas was not used as much as I would’ve liked to have used it. I wasn’t home a lot in the summertime and many times I like to be inside with Twinkie now.

I attended a Miles Christi retreat one weekend in November. It’s a blessing to be able to take part in a silent retreat. I think the benefits are immeasurable. I will hopefully write more on it in another post.

Rachel and Hannah were in their high school’s play called Peter and the Star Catcher. And Joe was the stage manager for A Bright New! Boise at his community college. Bobby and I saw Moulin Rouge at the Bushnell in Hartford, CT, for my birthday. And then there was Thanksgiving, and our annual tree trimming party.

December

On the first weekend in December, I took a trip with my father, sister, nephew, Rachel, and Hannah. We met Bobby in New York City. We saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular. We tried to see some more of the Christmas decorations, but got stuck in a people jam. It’s busy there on the weekends in December!!! We also enjoyed going out to eat and we put up the skinny Christmas tree in the apartment.

We saw Nuncrackers performed by a local theater group. I also attended 3 concerts at my daughter, Sarah’s, college; one in which she played piano pieces and one in which she sang with a chorale group.

My mom had surgery on her wrist. So she needed help, and I slept over her house for the first night after the surgery. She’s still recovering, and needs help once in a while. It was nice to spend extra time with her and her dog Rosie. Joe has been busy creating two Lego stop motion movies.

The Christmas season came and went. I did some holiday baking and celebrated Christmas with my mom at my sister‘s house. Then we hosted Christmas Eve with my dad and other extended family. We also attended midnight Mass. On Christmas Day, Matthew and his girlfriend came over for opening presents and our traditional Santa pancakes and bacon. And then on the 26th of December we hosted a dinner with the members of Bobby’s family that could make it. Some of them were sick this year. We had a quiet New Year’s Eve game night.

January

2024 started with a Lord of the Rings movie marathon. Our local theater had the three movies showing in an XD theater, and I indulged myself. I’ve also been reading, listening to audiobooks and doing many jigsaw puzzles with Mary.

We’ve had two snowstorms so far this year. Bobby was away for both of them so I was in charge of snowblowing and shoveling, and I took care of my mom’s car during the first larger storm.

January has also sparked a return to routines. I spent a day revisiting the Flylady’s website. I started practicing a before-bedtime routine and a morning routine that have been so helpful. I think the thing that’s made the most difference is making sure I run the dishwasher and tidy up the kitchen and living room before bed. It feels good to make breakfast in a clean kitchen.

This past week I started to follow a meal plan and a workout plan that is part of an online challenge I joined. It’s an eight week challenge that starts on February 1st, but I started it early. I’m doing very well with the food prep and eating. The workouts are difficult for me because I am not used to pushing myself with exercise. I usually stop when it gets hard. I worry that I’m going to injure myself and I just don’t enjoy exercising. I don’t mind playing a game, like tennis, or taking a leisurely walk or bike ride. I like hiking and snowshoeing and being outside, but not for very long. So this will be a challenge for me.

There.

I’m all caught up now and ready to blog again.

Soon, I hope.

I don’t have much time, but I can say a few things.

Though I didn’t like science in school, and I have a different worldview; I do find myself identifying with Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory. I appreciate: his desire for things to be chronological, his not wanting to lie, his discomfort with not finishing things, his difficulties with sarcasm and the expectation that people are speaking literally, and his pleasure in sorting, organizing, and labeling stuff. There’s probably more. I really hope I am not as immature, and annoying to other people as he can be.

My daughter, Sarah, is graduating from a local community college and she won’t be attending the ceremony. I did the same when I finished the classes for my bachelor’s degree. I remember when my diploma came in the mail. I sat down on the sofa in my apartment, opened the envelope and admired the large paper for a minute. I think I said, “Cool!” And then I went and did something else.

My daughter, Rachel, will be going to the prom tomorrow with her boyfriend. I didn’t go to any proms during high school. I didn’t have any boyfriends either. I remember my father taking me out to Friendly’s and talking with me about it. He thought that if I didn’t go to my senior prom, I would regret it. I can honestly say that I have regretted many things and that is not one of them.

My youngest child, Mary, just turned twelve. For her birthday this year, Bobby and I told her that we’ll adopt a kitten. It’s something she’s wanted for a long time. I haven’t wanted any pets since my cat, Roxanne, died around 21 years ago. I didn’t want the responsibility of caring for a pet, in addition to all of the responsibilities that I already have or that I just think are mine. Monday, Mary and I visited a woman who is fostering kittens. Mary chose one of them, and we’ll hopefully be able to adopt him. We’ve been getting prepared; and I’m actually excited about it.

I’ll finish with an idea I heard two times today from two different sources. It’s the idea of walking with God, and that it is my lifeline. I want to be alive today, not just existing. I don’t want to be shuffling through my days, on auto-pilot, or exhausted. I’ve done enough of that. So, it’s good to be reminded. It’s not sleeping in, or getting more done, or having more fun, that will give me the life I seek.

It’s just that I get so distracted. Let me start with the quick update. How about a bulleted list inspired by my iphone photos?

• Rachel and Hannah were nuns in Sister Act the Musical at their high school
• Matthew bought a two family house
• I’m on Season Six of The Big Bang Theory
• jigsaw puzzles
• movies
• Joseph played a lead role in Much Ado About Nothing at his community college
• snowshoeing with Mary
• crossword puzzles
• Edward’s birthday party
• Hayden and H.R.’s baby shower
• Mom’s 75th birthday dinner at our house
• bought a new car
• Rachel’s birthday party
• weekend away (dinner with Manda)
• trying to find new jeans
• the Good Friday outdoor processional around town Stations of the Cross
• Easter Dinner
• trip to York, England, and London and more (lots of photos!!!)
• The Lord of the Rings movie marathon with Hannah, ending with an extended cut at the theater
• NYC with Jodie, Bob and Mary
• MJ the Musical
• Greenwich Village, Little Island, the Highline, MOMA
• Brooklyn with Mary (Brooklyn Bridge, Botanic Garden)
• The Lion King
• loads of subway rides and a train ride
• shopping
• tennis matches
• walking and strength training
• Calaeb and his Dad’s birthday party
• Rachel and Hannah’s Confirmation and the party

Phew! Sure, I did other things too, but these were what I found in my camera roll. And now it’s time for bed. I’ll have to start blogging again another day.

Summer is in full swing now. I wanna get back into blogging, but I’m not sure what I want to write about yet, so I’ll start with an update post.

Yesterday… I was spreading mulch. The old gray mare just ain’t what she used to be. I was moving very slowly. Pushing that yellow wheelbarrow and using Bobby’s pitchfork was like lifting weights for me. Because we are having a triple birthday party on Saturday, and Bobby had to go to Canada, I said I would do what I can.

I think we’re in the midst of a party season. There was Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day, and Sarah‘s birthday, and Fourth of July, and the Fourth of July Eve, then the triple birthday party and Hannah’s birthday. This year, Mother’s Day was my best ever. We played tennis and got Chinese food. Of course, not cooking is a great present to me, but we topped that with a double feature. We watched Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (including a Sing-along with enthusiastic family participation).

One Saturday, Bobby and I picked up a bathroom vanity cabinet that I had ordered in February. We took out the old one, and since we needed a plumber, we decided to hire someone to install it. He hasn’t come over yet, so it’s just sitting there. I have plans to paint and update the room as soon as he comes.

I took a day trip with my mom and her dog, Rosie, to visit my uncle and his wife and daughter in Rhode Island. Then the kids and I went to New York with Bobby for one night. We slept in the apartment and visited the American Museum of Natural History.

I’m in the process of planning out the next homeschool year. Mary, most likely my last homeschooler, will be in the sixth grade. I felt emotional as I was sorting through her fifth grade books. I used to take the Saxon math textbooks and solutions manuals and pack them away for the next kid. But there was no next kid. We don’t need the books anymore. And the fifth grade Faith and Life text, Credo… I remember buying that when little Matthew (now 23) was going into fifth grade. It was one of those days when life appears to be passing by too quickly.

But today I am grateful. During one of my late night YouTube scrolling sessions, I saw a thumbnail about getting rid of belly fat and I checked it out. The video was by a very likable woman whose theory seemed sound. I watched a few of her videos about food. The next day I was texting with my friend who told me she was watching videos about light calisthenics. I sent her a link to the belly fat woman and it turned out that we were both watching videos by the same Pahla B. Does my phone have the ability to send videos that my friends are watching to my YouTube feed? Or was it just meant to be? Anyway, from that day on I’ve been practicing her 5-0 Method, and my friend and I have been sharing our experiences through texts. I’ve been feeling very happy that I am taking care of my body, albeit, imperfectly.

Before this post gets too crazy long, I’ll share one last thing. While I was mulching yesterday, I listened to MP3 talks by Fr. John Hardon. They were recordings from 1996 about the Real Presence. I’ve listened to five of the 18 parts, and plan to continue. It’s given me a desire to read Mysterium Fidei (and to attend daily Mass and get to Adoration more frequently). If time permits, I may write more about this or any of these topics again. Surely not this week, however, as I will be busy with party prep.

I wrote this post at the beginning of June. I don’t know why I didn’t publish it, but I’m posting it now before I begin writing an update for July. Chronology.

Last weekend, my daughter’s boyfriend came over to watch a movie with us for the first time. We ran around picking up the house and putting things back where they belong before he arrived. The next morning, the house looked really neat, and we wondered why it doesn’t look like that more often.

Our quick tidy wasn’t the only thing that got the house to a place of neatness, and my mind to a state of rest.

I linked in my last post, videos by a YouTuber that caught my interest recently. The idea that really got me thinking was one she listed as a reason people have clutter: delayed decisions.

I realized that I have struggled with indecisiveness and avoidance many times in my life. I think my mom used to describe me as a procrastinator when I was a child. She was probably right. I remember starting a whole research paper the day before it was due, and all-nighters were a regular part of my high school and college years. (Those continued during my 5 years of working third shift and my 14 years of nursing babies.) But getting back to delayed decisions… I instantly knew this was why I have not finished decluttering my whole house yet, despite having been trying to get “totally organized” since 1998. And this is likely why the kitchen has been covered with laundry and dishes lately. I have been delaying deciding who does what around here since a failed attempt at changing up an old chore plan.

There’s more. Other videos revealed that the mess and clutter will always come back if I don’t make real substantial changes to my lifestyle (like when I go on a diet, then return to my regular eating habits). She offered practical ideas and inspiration that I acted on right away. And with journaling and prayer, I started thinking… I can do this. I can be decisive. Isn’t this the discernment of spirits? Awareness, understanding, and taking action to accept or reject the inspiration or temptation. (Or in my case, awareness, understanding, and not taking action.). Seriously, one of the things I like about these videos is her emphasis on being gentle with yourself. And one thing I don’t completely agree with is the encouragement to trust myself. I prefer to think of it as trusting God to lead me.

But enough about the videos… What have I been doing? Well, first I went around my home looking at all the material items and writing a list of “Unfinished Business”. This could be: repair my bathroom towel hook, open Rachel’s bank account, finish remodeling the half bath, read such and such a book, and so on. A lot of the items came from my kitchen desk area. It was basically a brain dump. I also added things I didn’t see on my pass through the house that were just in my mind. I eventually processed this list. I put tasks I will do either on a To Do list that resides in my desk drawer, attached to a manila folder holding some of the paperwork, or on my calendar, on the day or month I intend to work on them. I wrote projects on sheets of paper (where I added some of the steps to the projects) and filed them in a binder by the month I intend to work on them. If I don’t get to them in that month, I can move them forward to another month. And some tasks/projects I just crossed out as not necessary right now, or ever. It was a relief to organize the jumbled mess in my mind into a prioritized, doable plan. Order out of chaos.

The next thing I did was to make two lists of things I wished I did daily. The first listed things to keep my house effortlessly cleaned, maintained, and clutter free. The second listed things I can do to take care of myself. (Many were retreat resolutions.) I have chosen three items that I am going to focus on during June. The hope is that they’ll become habits. I usually try to change too many things at once and lose focus. Choosing only three seems, again, doable.

Lastly, I wrote 25 small chores on index cards, laid them out on the dining room table and told my four daughters to each choose 5. I’ll take on the five (least wanted) remaining tasks. I quickly wrote out lists by chore and by person (so ISTJ) for reference. I have been procrastinating doing this all spring and it feels good to have decided who is responsible for what again.

So it kind of sounds like I spend all my time writing lists. I do enjoy writing, but I’ve also been involved in many people oriented activities such as: helping Joseph buy a car, driving Hannah and Rachel around to tennis practices and matches, getting Mary new eyeglasses, spending a weekend with Bobby in Delaware, attending two school spring music concerts, doing laps in my Dad’s pool, playing tennis, tech ring, and corn hole… See I do live quite an exciting life.

I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe!

It seems silly that I look forward to new posts on a blog called Classy Yet Trendy because I consider myself to be low maintenance when it comes to health and beauty aids, and definitely fashion. Yet here I am waiting for her to come out with her Spring Capsule Wardrobe for Stay at Home Moms. My explanation is that I have experienced the benefits of having one.

If you’re not familiar with a “capsule wardrobe”, it is a set number of clothes that can mix and match with one another to create many outfits.   Typically, you wear a capsule wardrobe for 3 months, then at the end of those 3 months, you update it for the next season.  (Leanne from Classy Yet Trendy)

I made my first one in the fall, and then I continued to wear it in the winter. This week, I took out the items I haven’t been wearing, and I’m going to share it with you now as my winter capsule wardrobe. I love that you set it up and then it’s done for three months. No need to shop for anything else or declutter until the next season comes + I love or use everything in my drawers = peace of mind.

When I made mine, I followed the steps in this post. I was able to use so many of the clothing items that I already owned because most of my wardrobe was made up of neutral-color coordinating essentials. Maybe they were old or not the perfect fit, but it was a good start. I tossed all the items that I didn’t love or that didn’t coordinate with what I had. I made a couple of purchases in the fall that helped round it out. So here are the steps I followed and what mine looks like.

STEP 1: SELECT “NAVY” OR “BLACK” AS YOUR BASE COLOR

I selected black.

STEP 2: SELECT YOUR NEUTRAL-COLOR COORDINATING ESSENTIALS

I selected 2 pairs of blue boot cut jeans, 1 pair of black straight leg jeans, 1 pair of black dress pants, 3 long sleeve T-shirts in white, charcoal, and black, a black turtleneck, a black and a charcoal cardigan, a grey pullover sweater, and a charcoal turtleneck sweater. I owned all of these items before last fall except for the black jeans. I made it through the previous cold weather months with just 2 pairs of blue jeans, but I likely doubled the number of outfits to choose from by adding the black jeans.  Thank you capsule wardrobe!

STEP 3: CHOOSE YOUR ACCENT COLOR (OPTIONAL)

I chose deep purple, and I guess olive because I bought a new olive colored cardigan in the fall. I do not like the color of the green shirt on the left, but I keep it because that is my popcorn shirt. I wear it whenever I go to the cinemas and plan to eat movie popcorn. I don’t want to get butter stains on any of my other shirts. Bobby has a bright red Red Sox popcorn sweatshirt. I guess you can do this when you’ve been married for twenty years.

STEP 4: ADD A FEW PATTERNED ITEMS AND LAYERS

I added a color coordinating flannel shirt, a grey striped turtleneck, a fringed cardigan, and my Les Miserables T-shirt. These were the patterned items.  The layers were: a navy hoodie, a grey hoodie, a black raincoat and a NEW black winter coat. I previously wore Bobby’s old one. I feel so feminine wearing a fitted coat. It’s super soft and warm, and very much appreciated here in Western Massachusetts.

STEP 5: CHOOSE YOUR SHOES AND ACCESSORIES

I chose black sling-back dress shoes, hiking boots, black suede flats, black western boots and black snow boots. By the way, this capsule doesn’t include pajamas and work out clothing. So I didn’t take photos of my slippers and running shoes.

These are my winter accessories. I chose 4 scarves and one tote bag. I don’t own a purse. I usually carry a money belt and my keys and iPhone in my pockets. I know this is neither classy nor trendy.

The Stay at Home Moms Spring Capsule Wardrobe I was waiting for came out today. (I started this post awhile ago.) It looks good, but I prefer the colors in the French Minimalist one. Maybe I’ll have to make up my own.