I said at the beginning of this series that I wasn’t going to summarize the chapters. I’d just post stuff I’d write in a commonplace book, such as favorite quotes that inspired me, thoughts I had…
Well… this chapter, “Creative Work”, has been the most thought provoking, inspiring one yet! I began reading this book because I thought it would help me find more time for scholé. I enjoyed hearing about it on Christopher Perrin’s podcast. Now, I want to write! This could be blog-changing.
When I was a kid in the early eighties, I played Barbies with my brother, and when he outgrew them, my sister. I was likely the one who came up with our systems of separating the furniture and accessories. I think for awhile, we’d line everything up and take turns picking what we wanted. Then, it later changed to someone mixing up the stuff while the “picker”, back turned so as not to see the items, chose a number from one, to the number of items there were. And that’s the item they would get. Picking continued until everything was fairly sorted. After that time-consuming raffle-type experience, we’d set up the houses. I remember one day, (likely too old to be playing with Barbie dolls) that I had the thought: I enjoy getting ready to play, more than I enjoying playing.
I instantly saw this memory when I read the first two lines of this chapter:
You have come now to the moment of producing results. One cannot be forever learning and forever getting ready.(Page 199)
How true. I have seen this pattern in my life. I have enjoyed homeschool planning, sometimes more than implementation. I enjoy getting the house in order, and messing it up by cooking or crafting, I tend to avoid. Or how about gardening? The preparing the soil and planting seeds is something I like. And I don’t mind weeding. But I’ve finally admitted to myself that watering and harvesting are not how I’d like to spend my time.
I see two things about myself here. One is that I prefer to participate in activities that are not messy. And the other is that I want to play it safe. Are these related?
When I am preparing to do something, it’s beautiful in my mind. We are going to have a homeschool year (or day) that is filled with discussing fascinating subjects, appreciating fine art, music, and nature, and consistently improving skills. It never works out the way I envision it. There is a wide range of other realities from a lack of enthusiasm to tears.
How many times have I gotten excited about trying a good-looking recipe, confident that following the instructions exactly and putting in the work would yield a wonderful meal? And then I’ve been disppointed by too much pink inside the chicken or the burnt whatever. You can probably imagine how a garden could let me down.
All of this to say that I might be a perfectionist. I might be immature. Maybe I think of things not going as I planned as mistakes. That is my initial response. But I when I slow down and take a long look, I see that everything that has happened is good. I can accept that I don’t love cooking, but it is something I do to take care of myself and my family. I can have compassion for myself and my children as we homeschool imperfectly. I can see the garden beds as a lesson learned and move on. And I know I love to write. This chapter has inspired me to do it imperfectly.
An organ that is used grows and gets strong; a strong organ can be used more effectively. You must write throughout the whole of your intellectual life.(Page 199)
I realize that I’ve been playing it safe. I pour my heart out in my private, black leather notebook. But here I write about decluttering, capsule wardrobes, and give room tours. I share quotes I like. I read, learn, pray, meditate… “forever getting ready.”
If you produce nothing you get a habit of passivity; timidity grows continually and the fear caused by pride; you hesitate, waste your powers in waiting, become as unproductive as a knotted tree-bud.(Page 201)
I certainly don’t want to be described as knotted. It’s spring. Time to open up. I want to fully live.
If you want fully to exist from the intellectual point of view, you must know how to think aloud, to think explicitly, that is to shape both within you and for the outside world the word which is the expression of your mind.(Page 201)
So this is the plan now. This is not to say that I won’t post room before and after pictures. I just don’t want to hold back anymore. If you are a writer or a wannabe, and want inspiration, get a hold of this book and read chapter 8, part I. Writing. Yes, there are other parts to this chapter. Four more in fact. So, there may be a sequel.