Book Quotes: Uniformity with God’s Will

I needed to hear these today:

“Little man,” says St. Augustine, “grow up. What are you seeking in your search for happiness? Seek the one good that embraces all others.” Whom do you seek, friend, if you seek not God? Seek him, find him, cleave to him; bind your will to his with bands of steel and you will live always at peace in this life and in the next…

God wills only our good; God loves us more than anybody else can or does love us…

Let us place ourselves unreservedly in his hands because he will not fail to have care of us…

2019

I started this blog one year ago with a post called “2018”.  It was so hopeful. I was doing a Whole 30, exercising, and I had a plan to declutter my home in six months. As always, I resolved to pray and meditate daily.

Now, looking back at 2018, I can say that I did complete that Whole 30.  And I did complete another one during Lent for six whole weeks!!  And I lost a total of 15 pounds! But after Easter, I went back to my usual eating habits; and sometime during the fall, I stopped working out. I’ve gained back most of the weight I lost.  I made huge progress on the decluttering, but I did not complete the project. I lost interest in the fall, perhaps around October, when I went on a Hallmark Christmas movies binge.

This was an emotional year for me.  It was filled with uncertainty and change, and the feelings that go along with it. I was often full of fear, and I have also enjoyed the freedom and peace that comes from prayer and trusting in God’s power.

As 2019 was approaching, I felt the familiar desire for setting goals and the hopefulness of achieving them as I have so often done during my adult years. But at the same time I felt a fogginess of mind, a lethargy that has stopped me from enthusiastically setting goals.  I don’t know its cause.  I suspect perimenopause, or burn-out, and/or a desire to rest and take things one day at a time.  So this year I am starting out slowly. I do want to plan out my weeks, (I do not enjoy winging it with dinner) just not the whole year.

I signed up for an online course called Simplified Organization. It’s a six month course, so it will be very slow moving. Many of the tools in it I may already use, but I am most interested in being encouraged in fulfilling the roles of my vocation more cheerfully. I’ve also been reading books for fun, for inspiration to live more “intentionally” as people say nowadays, and for growing spiritually.

Here’s my list:

I expect to eventually set goals, not for 2019, but some shorter term goals that I can continue to focus on until they are achieved.

Fall Capsule Wardrobe

We’re about halfway through the fall season, and I’m just getting around to posting about my fall capsule wardrobe. Yesterday, I packed away a couple of sleeveless tops and a pair of shorts that I kept out because we were still having some hot weather in October, but I think that’s over now. I also noticed that there are several items I haven’t even worn yet.  Maybe I don’t need them.

I’m sorry to say that I haven’t worn the black jeans because they’ve been feeling too tight. I gained a few pounds. I’m not tempted to wear the dress, skirt or pumps in the colder weather. And the same for the jean jacket. Sweaters and sweatshirts feel cozier.

So here is what I have been wearing, starting with the tops: white, gray, black, and charcoal long sleeve T-shirts, an ivory top, a striped long sleeve T-shirt, a chambray shirt, black plaid and burgundy plaid tunics, and my Les Mis T-shirt.

The bottoms are: blue boot cut jeans, and burgundy, hunter green, and blue skinny jeans.

The layers are as follows: charcoal, olive, gray, and beige cardigans; navy and gray hoodies; and a black raincoat.

The shoes and accessories are:  black western boots, gray converse sneakers, hiking boots, black sling-back pumps, a scarf, a black handbag, a black tote bag, and a silver necklace (not shown).

The inspiration for this wardrobe was from The Essential Capsule Wardrobe: Fall 2018 Collection found at Classy Yet Trendy.  I basically copied it by using what I have and buying several of the items in it.  I simplified the wardrobe a bit by not adding the beige ankle boots, suede jacket and handbag. So I use black with everything, which may not look as nice sometimes, but it saved money.

The capsule wardrobe concept makes shopping way less overwhelming for me. Instead of looking for a new top for fall (out of the endless choices), I can look specifically for a black and white plaid shirt. And tweaking it is not hard. I went with a tunic because I like to cover my butt.  The hiking boots make me comfortable in rain and mud, and the men’s hoodie sweatshirts are great on chilly fall days. (with a blanket, for super cozy)

These capsule wardrobes have also taken me out of my comfort zone, and have kept me from just wearing my grubbies all the time.  They’ve reminded me that twenty years ago (before kids) I used to enjoy wearing heels.  (and pencil skirts and mini skirts and bodysuits and Bongo jeans… Yikes!) And if I want to continue to fit in my skinny jeans, I might have to eat better or work out. I’ll just have to take better care of myself, body and soul.

 

Dear Stuff

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I found this letter that I wrote (maybe two years ago), prompted by a blog post on Be More with Less called “How to Write a Break-up Letter to Your Stuff”.  It was written quickly and without revision, but today I am appreciating the analogy.

Dear Stuff,

I am making a commitment to only be with stuff that serves a good purpose or leads me closer to God. I believe that this is how God wants me to relate to things.  I’m liking the idea of seeing material possessions as tools.  They help me to do God’s will. Like school supplies and curriculum help me to educate my children. Pots and pans are tools to cook with.  My crucifix reminds me of Jesus.

I’m writing to tell you that you are not good for me anymore.  I don’t need you; you do not cause me joy.  Some of you I did need in the past.  You were tools at one time, and you served your purpose well.  but my life has changed, and I no longer need your help.  Others of you, I don’t even know why I have you around.  I never used you for anything.  Maybe you were given to me and I said thank you to the giver because I love them and didn’t want to say no.  Maybe I purchased you when I was afraid.  You made me feel better.  From you I am learning to have a criteria for future purchases.  To ask if I really need it.  What purpose will it serve?  Can I do without it?

I am determined to live a well-ordered life.  I am working my butt off this summer to go through everything and keep only the tools God wants me to use and to let go of my attachments to you all.

I have trouble letting go of some of you.  I’d like to keep you just in case I’ll use you again in the future.  But this is not what God teaches.

He wants me to live in the present and serve Him, love Him and pray unceasingly to Him.  He does not want me to worry about tomorrow.  He says it in the Bible.  He will provide for me always.  I really need to trust Him completely and let you go.

I did not sign my letter.  It was anonymous.  And because I like to linger over ideas…  How about a list of questions to ask when decluttering, based on the ideas found in this letter?

  • Does this serve a good purpose or lead me closer to God?
  • Why do I have this?
  • Is this a tool I used in the past, but don’t need anymore?  Let it go.
  • Have I never used this?  Let it go.
  • Was this a gift? Did I thank the giver?  Let it go.
  • Did someone give it to me and I didn’t want to say no?  Let it go.
  • Did I purchase this when I was afraid?  Let it go.

Questions to ask before a new purchase:

  • Do I really need this?
  • What purpose will it serve?
  • Can I do without it?

Remember:  Live in the present.  Love, serve and pray all day.  Do not worry about tomorrow.  God will provide for you always.  Trust him completely and let it go.

DECLUTTERING QUESTIONS    30 DAY LIST

 

 

Weekend Retreats

 

I’ve been away from my home for the past three weekends. First, I attended a women’s silent Ignatian Spiritual Exercises retreat, then on Columbus Day weekend, I spent time with extended family in Bailey Island, ME.  This past Saturday, I was at a Schole Sister’s local retreat called Learning Well, with Cindy Rollins! So on Sunday, I reflected on some of the ideas I’ve taken in, made a practical plan of how I will implement my retreat resolutions, and I chose the books I plan to read in the next few weeks.

I’m toying with the idea of playing the Minimalism Game for the rest of October and for the month of November, as progress on my decluttering checklist has decreased.  I did play the game for five days before my first retreat and I got rid of 114 items from my basement.

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I also printed out a time log I found online, because it’s a super fun way to see how I’m spending my time, and it’s helpful when implementing new habits to see if they are realistic or not.  And speaking of habits… I also printed out a new habit tracker.  I created it for a 21 day period, with boxes to check off or shade for each habit, each of the 21 days.  I type my habits in the left column and fill in days of the week and dates along the top. A blank one is shown below.

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Peace!

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The End of Summer

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We all went “back-to-school” a week and a half ago, but this will (according to the calendar) be the last week of summer. Today, I’ve had some time for reflection.  I have concluded that, yes, it was a good one. I’m already missing its slower pace. After two weeks of feeling nonstop busy, I’ve decided that (when possible) I must keep Sunday a day of rest.

I rested this summer. I was fortunate to spend many days sitting in a chair near my father’s pool.  And during the last week of August, I spent five days with my family at Cape Cod.  I love the ocean!  Not necessarily going in it, just looking at it.  And hearing it… and smelling it.  I love the warmth of the sun and the sand, and even the wind if it’s not too strong.   I would have stayed at the beach from sunrise until sunset if my family wanted to, but a couple of hours were enough for them.  So I slept in, played pool, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding (and its sequel), and ate ice cream for dinner.  I also kayaked for the first time ever.  All alone on the pond, I felt serene until three hawks started circling above me.  I googled, “Do hawks attack people?” and I texted Bobby, “Would you like to come out on the pond with me?”  (I didn’t ditch the iPhone on vacation.)  I also spent many hours reading tween fiction, out in the fresh air, without any distractions, interruptions, or time limits. I was blessed with that feeling of peace and joy.

I also worked this summer.  Bobby and I spent many days trimming arborvitae bushes (and tree branches and vines) at my father’s house, and I weeded, gardened and mowed the lawn at our own home.  I cleaned the walls, windows, tables, and flooring in our schoolroom.

The soundtracks of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again and Hamilton, the audible original Emma,  and lectures on Classical U, kept my mind from boredom.  Speaking of Classical U, have you ever heard of the idea of Schole? There’s an idea for another post.  Along with my fall capsule wardrobe, a decluttering update, and more… But for now, I will continue to enjoy the slower pace of Sunday and the end of the summer.  And I hope that you will too.

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Decluttering the Schoolroom

WARNING:  This is a long story of progress, not perfection.  If you are not interested in pondering the decluttering process, then skip to the photos.

I’ve been homeschooling for fourteen years now. I spent the first half of this time accumulating materials. I was building a home library, an art studio, a classroom, and trying to figure out which methods and curricula worked for my family. Then it was suddenly “all too much.” (Thank you, Peter Walsh!) I’ve decluttered at least once every year since then.  In the beginning, I got rid of a lot. I went through all the emotions you feel when you do a big purge. It was an eye-opening experience.

Past purchases can teach you much about yourself. I could see how I bought things we didn’t need out of fear, or to avoid pain; how I blindly followed “experts” instead of praying and trusting God; how I thought curricula, and not discipline, was the problem; and so on… It was all a learning experience. Processing those feelings helped me to see more clearly and stop the spending. That didn’t mean I reached the schoolroom “click point” as Marie Kondo calls that place where you feel you have just the right amount of stuff. So this time, my goal was to keep only those things that we love, or use, or will use at a specific time in the future.

I divided the room into these categories:

  • Furniture
  • Accessories
  • Walls
  • Books
  • Art Supplies
  • Craft Supplies
  • Office Supplies
  • Mary’s Activities

Next, I picked up each item for consideration and made lists of “The Keepers.” I asked myself (and sometimes my kids) three questions:

  1. Do we love it?
  2. How often do we use it?
  3. Does it serve a good purpose?

A “yes” to any of the questions made it a keeper. Some items went into the trash or donate piles.  Where it got difficult was when we answered “No. Not at all. No, BUT I’m going to use it someday!” Or we might use it in the future, or maybe it’ll serve a good purpose someday.

Then, two months-of-doing-nothing later, after realizing that some of the “Keepers” did not meet my criteria of love, use, or going to use it at a specific time in the future, I made another pass through the room.  I weeded out some more items.

This time I went through quickly, not touching every item individually, and I used another set of questions which I made up based on the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

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  1. Does this help me to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord?
  2. Do I use this to help me on to my end?
  3. Does this hinder me as to my end?

The thing about homeschooling books and curricula, and even some art supplies, is that unless you know in advance what your course of study will be every year for all of your homeschooling years, it’s impossible to know whether or not you will use a certain book at a specific time in the future.  The best I can do is make an educated guess.  I’ve been procrastinating “finishing” decluttering the schoolroom because I’ve been confusing the end with the means.

I was so focused on having the perfect amount of stuff in the room, that I forgot that the perfect amount of stuff is not my end.  These new questions reminded me of my true end, and made me realize that having a few extra picture books on a shelf that we never read is not going to hinder me as to my true end.

I just need to be the best steward of our things that I can be at this time, then move on.  So I am keeping the items that we love, we use, and a limited number of items that we will likely use in the future, and I’m assigning a home for each item.

Because my schoolroom is large with lots of storage spaces, it is easy to find homes for everything.  The way that I am limiting the number of items is by confining them to certain areas.  And these areas don’t need to be filled.  Empty space is desirable.  Here are some of their homes:

  • Mary’s activities in the old computer cabinet
  • chapter books in the cherry cabinets
  • reference and religious books on the top white shelves
  • readers, poetry books and plays on the middle white shelves
  • picture books on the bottom left shelf
  • history, geography, art and science books on the bottom right shelf
  • cleaning, art and craft supplies in the cabinets and a drawer
  • office supplies in a drawer
  • Playdoh in a cabinet
  • sewing supplies in a chest of drawers

In the schoolroom closet, I have a dresser in which I am keeping:

  • items to use later this year in the top drawer
  • audiobooks in the little drawer above the cabinet
  • future language arts, Latin, math and religion books in the second drawer
  • future art books and syllabi in the bottom drawer
  • future music, science, history and geography books in the cabinet

Many of the books and supplies for the current year are kept on shelves in the closet.

I feel comfortable with the items currently in our schoolroom.  I don’t consider them to be clutter.  There are more activities, sewing, and art and craft supplies in here than I would like; but I keep them because the girls love and/or use them, and they have assigned homes.  I expect that many of these items will go out the door as the girls get older and their interests change.  You can see the rest of the schoolroom when I do a room tour post. That’ll happen when I am finished with this VHS-C tape project,

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or right before school starts…  whichever comes first.

 

 

Summer Work and Play

Two weeks have passed since my last blog past.  What have I been doing with my time?

I’ve been spending lots of it at my father’s house, sitting by the pool, and occasionally doing laps in it. I also visit with my mom and stepfather once a week, and I sometimes harvest my garden. I’ve been attending free concerts at local parks.  This week, I attended a performance by a Neil Diamond cover band.  I’ve seen three children’s theater plays with my three younger girls.   Yesterday, I giggled through the musical You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I did make two new decluttering checklists for two of my major projects, “The Basement” and “Sentimental Items”.

I didn’t make a checklist for “Paper” as I said I would, because Bobby and I blew through it all last Saturday.  A “Paper” post will be coming soon.

I read Making Room for God: Decluttering and the Spiritual Life.

On July 27th, I said this:

If I really focus, (and don’t watch so many movies) maybe I can complete these projects by the end of this summer.

Well, about movies….  since then, I’ve watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, The Greatest Showman,  Leon: The Professional, Gladiator, Braveheart, John Wick, Yours, Mine and Ours, John Wick 2, and Roxanne.  (Those are the ones I can remember.)

I’ve also prepared for the next homeschool year, and I thought I finished decluttering the schoolroom, but I’m considering doing one more round before I post about it.  The reason is that my original goal was to keep only things that we love, use, or will use at a specific time in the future.  I realized today that I have kept many items that don’t fit that criteria.  So, I either need to change my goal, or do another round.  A “schoolroom” post will be coming soon.

How I Found My Passions in 15 Minutes

If you could do anything, what would you do?

This was today’s reflection question on Dynamic Catholic’s Best Lent Ever.  I immediately thought, I can’t think of anything.  I had just woken up.  I texted my sister about it and she didn’t think she’d come up with anything either. I told her that because I don’t have much free time, I don’t really know what I love to do. I’m just trying to keep up with what I think I have to do.

So a little later, I got out my journal and I wrote reading and writing. I know I like those.  To dig a little deeper, I imagined I was single and I didn’t have to work. What would I do if I had plenty of money and no responsibilities to other people? I assumed I would have a tidy, minimalist home and just hours in the day to fill up with whatever I wanted. I set a timer for 15 minutes. Ideas began to come.  It seems I would like to:

Read, Study or Learn

  • languages, maybe French, Spanish, Italian, Latin
  • certain historical subjects, like Church history, or Colonial America
  • the Bible
  • about the saints
  • spiritual classics
  • my family geneology

Go Visit Places

  • pilgrimages, such as famous Marian shrines, or back to the Holy Land
  • Europe, especially Italy and Paris
  • Private beaches, maybe even live on or near one

Do a Few Activities

  • hiking with other people (don’t want to be alone in the woods)
  • go to Broadway plays, especially musicals
  • take walks on the beach and watch the ocean
  • a 30 day Spiritual Exercises retreat (and other retreats)
  • write and illustrate children’s books

I also had a couple of more personal answers that I don’t want to blog about today. It was only 15 minutes, but this was a good start. I was happy to learn that I do have some interests, and some I could pursue in the near future or even now.

The motivation for simplifying my life (Operation Joyful Space, capsule wardrobes, streamlining home management, reducing distractions …) is so that I can spend more time on things that are important to me. I have been taking care of my family and home for many years. More recently, I have been doing the meditation, eating better and exercising. These things are very important, but that doesn’t mean I always enjoy them.  I plan to share these ideas with Bobby, pray about them, and see what happens. Some of these ideas would seem like work to me at this season in my life, so I would need to choose wisely.

 

 

Planning the Spring Capsule Wardrobe

I recently wrote about my Winter Capsule Wardrobe and that I was eagerly awaiting The Stay at Home Mom Capsule Wardrobe ebook on the blog, Classy Yet Trendy. It turned out that I wasn’t attracted to it. I don’t care for the colors blush and coral, which I could have substituted with other colors, but I also don’t like to wear leggings. I really liked the French Minimalist Spring Capsule Wardrobe. So I bought the ebook!

This is a whole new style for me. Last spring, I mostly wore boot cut jeans or old tan cargo-style capri pants, along with T-shirts that Bobby brought home for me from foreign countries. And everyday I wore black Teva athletic sandals. When I was cleaning or mowing the lawn, I wore my Yoda T-shirt. (I’ll probably still do that.)

So I planned my Winter Capsule Wardrobe without an ebook. I had loads of winter clothes, and I only purchased a few items. This spring one is the opposite. I only have a few items, and I needed to purchase loads of them. So that’s what I’ve been doing this week. I bought some online and I did a shopping marathon yesterday. I didn’t even eat or use a restroom for about six hours! Crazy!

I’ll be interested to see if these items will last for a long time. In fact, I have beaucoup (That’s French for many.) questions:

Will I not need to buy anything next spring?

Will some of these items be used in the summer capsule wardrobe?

Should I buy the black handbag and beige tote? They look cool, but if I get them, what would I put in them besides my money belt? What does a French minimalist carry?

Can I pass on the other accessories? Necklaces and bandana scarves might be too over the top for me. I feel like I’m going to be high maintenance enough with ballet flats.

Will anyone notice a difference in my appearance? Going from boot cut to skinny jeans seems drastic to me. And I haven’t worn a denim jacket since 1989.

Will I actually use the outfit guide to create all those combinations? Or will I wear the same few favorites over and over and realize that I only needed half of what I purchased?

Will this be simple? Setting it up is taking me more time than I expected. Some things didn’t fit well. I needed to look for a substitute shoe because Bobby didn’t like the loafers.  I’m waiting for some expensive white pants to go on sale…

Will I actually go out in public with the substitute shoes I chose? (See below.)

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These are some things to ponder on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I’m sure my questions will all be answered during the coming months. But for now, there are still several more weeks of winter.