2019

I started this blog one year ago with a post called “2018”.  It was so hopeful. I was doing a Whole 30, exercising, and I had a plan to declutter my home in six months. As always, I resolved to pray and meditate daily.

Now, looking back at 2018, I can say that I did complete that Whole 30.  And I did complete another one during Lent for six whole weeks!!  And I lost a total of 15 pounds! But after Easter, I went back to my usual eating habits; and sometime during the fall, I stopped working out. I’ve gained back most of the weight I lost.  I made huge progress on the decluttering, but I did not complete the project. I lost interest in the fall, perhaps around October, when I went on a Hallmark Christmas movies binge.

This was an emotional year for me.  It was filled with uncertainty and change, and the feelings that go along with it. I was often full of fear, and I have also enjoyed the freedom and peace that comes from prayer and trusting in God’s power.

As 2019 was approaching, I felt the familiar desire for setting goals and the hopefulness of achieving them as I have so often done during my adult years. But at the same time I felt a fogginess of mind, a lethargy that has stopped me from enthusiastically setting goals.  I don’t know its cause.  I suspect perimenopause, or burn-out, and/or a desire to rest and take things one day at a time.  So this year I am starting out slowly. I do want to plan out my weeks, (I do not enjoy winging it with dinner) just not the whole year.

I signed up for an online course called Simplified Organization. It’s a six month course, so it will be very slow moving. Many of the tools in it I may already use, but I am most interested in being encouraged in fulfilling the roles of my vocation more cheerfully. I’ve also been reading books for fun, for inspiration to live more “intentionally” as people say nowadays, and for growing spiritually.

Here’s my list:

I expect to eventually set goals, not for 2019, but some shorter term goals that I can continue to focus on until they are achieved.

Fall Capsule Wardrobe

We’re about halfway through the fall season, and I’m just getting around to posting about my fall capsule wardrobe. Yesterday, I packed away a couple of sleeveless tops and a pair of shorts that I kept out because we were still having some hot weather in October, but I think that’s over now. I also noticed that there are several items I haven’t even worn yet.  Maybe I don’t need them.

I’m sorry to say that I haven’t worn the black jeans because they’ve been feeling too tight. I gained a few pounds. I’m not tempted to wear the dress, skirt or pumps in the colder weather. And the same for the jean jacket. Sweaters and sweatshirts feel cozier.

So here is what I have been wearing, starting with the tops: white, gray, black, and charcoal long sleeve T-shirts, an ivory top, a striped long sleeve T-shirt, a chambray shirt, black plaid and burgundy plaid tunics, and my Les Mis T-shirt.

The bottoms are: blue boot cut jeans, and burgundy, hunter green, and blue skinny jeans.

The layers are as follows: charcoal, olive, gray, and beige cardigans; navy and gray hoodies; and a black raincoat.

The shoes and accessories are:  black western boots, gray converse sneakers, hiking boots, black sling-back pumps, a scarf, a black handbag, a black tote bag, and a silver necklace (not shown).

The inspiration for this wardrobe was from The Essential Capsule Wardrobe: Fall 2018 Collection found at Classy Yet Trendy.  I basically copied it by using what I have and buying several of the items in it.  I simplified the wardrobe a bit by not adding the beige ankle boots, suede jacket and handbag. So I use black with everything, which may not look as nice sometimes, but it saved money.

The capsule wardrobe concept makes shopping way less overwhelming for me. Instead of looking for a new top for fall (out of the endless choices), I can look specifically for a black and white plaid shirt. And tweaking it is not hard. I went with a tunic because I like to cover my butt.  The hiking boots make me comfortable in rain and mud, and the men’s hoodie sweatshirts are great on chilly fall days. (with a blanket, for super cozy)

These capsule wardrobes have also taken me out of my comfort zone, and have kept me from just wearing my grubbies all the time.  They’ve reminded me that twenty years ago (before kids) I used to enjoy wearing heels.  (and pencil skirts and mini skirts and bodysuits and Bongo jeans… Yikes!) And if I want to continue to fit in my skinny jeans, I might have to eat better or work out. I’ll just have to take better care of myself, body and soul.

 

Dear Stuff

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I found this letter that I wrote (maybe two years ago), prompted by a blog post on Be More with Less called “How to Write a Break-up Letter to Your Stuff”.  It was written quickly and without revision, but today I am appreciating the analogy.

Dear Stuff,

I am making a commitment to only be with stuff that serves a good purpose or leads me closer to God. I believe that this is how God wants me to relate to things.  I’m liking the idea of seeing material possessions as tools.  They help me to do God’s will. Like school supplies and curriculum help me to educate my children. Pots and pans are tools to cook with.  My crucifix reminds me of Jesus.

I’m writing to tell you that you are not good for me anymore.  I don’t need you; you do not cause me joy.  Some of you I did need in the past.  You were tools at one time, and you served your purpose well.  but my life has changed, and I no longer need your help.  Others of you, I don’t even know why I have you around.  I never used you for anything.  Maybe you were given to me and I said thank you to the giver because I love them and didn’t want to say no.  Maybe I purchased you when I was afraid.  You made me feel better.  From you I am learning to have a criteria for future purchases.  To ask if I really need it.  What purpose will it serve?  Can I do without it?

I am determined to live a well-ordered life.  I am working my butt off this summer to go through everything and keep only the tools God wants me to use and to let go of my attachments to you all.

I have trouble letting go of some of you.  I’d like to keep you just in case I’ll use you again in the future.  But this is not what God teaches.

He wants me to live in the present and serve Him, love Him and pray unceasingly to Him.  He does not want me to worry about tomorrow.  He says it in the Bible.  He will provide for me always.  I really need to trust Him completely and let you go.

I did not sign my letter.  It was anonymous.  And because I like to linger over ideas…  How about a list of questions to ask when decluttering, based on the ideas found in this letter?

  • Does this serve a good purpose or lead me closer to God?
  • Why do I have this?
  • Is this a tool I used in the past, but don’t need anymore?  Let it go.
  • Have I never used this?  Let it go.
  • Was this a gift? Did I thank the giver?  Let it go.
  • Did someone give it to me and I didn’t want to say no?  Let it go.
  • Did I purchase this when I was afraid?  Let it go.

Questions to ask before a new purchase:

  • Do I really need this?
  • What purpose will it serve?
  • Can I do without it?

Remember:  Live in the present.  Love, serve and pray all day.  Do not worry about tomorrow.  God will provide for you always.  Trust him completely and let it go.

DECLUTTERING QUESTIONS    30 DAY LIST

 

 

Weekend Retreats

 

I’ve been away from my home for the past three weekends. First, I attended a women’s silent Ignatian Spiritual Exercises retreat, then on Columbus Day weekend, I spent time with extended family in Bailey Island, ME.  This past Saturday, I was at a Schole Sister’s local retreat called Learning Well, with Cindy Rollins! So on Sunday, I reflected on some of the ideas I’ve taken in, made a practical plan of how I will implement my retreat resolutions, and I chose the books I plan to read in the next few weeks.

I’m toying with the idea of playing the Minimalism Game for the rest of October and for the month of November, as progress on my decluttering checklist has decreased.  I did play the game for five days before my first retreat and I got rid of 114 items from my basement.

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I also printed out a time log I found online, because it’s a super fun way to see how I’m spending my time, and it’s helpful when implementing new habits to see if they are realistic or not.  And speaking of habits… I also printed out a new habit tracker.  I created it for a 21 day period, with boxes to check off or shade for each habit, each of the 21 days.  I type my habits in the left column and fill in days of the week and dates along the top. A blank one is shown below.

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Peace!

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The End of Summer

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We all went “back-to-school” a week and a half ago, but this will (according to the calendar) be the last week of summer. Today, I’ve had some time for reflection.  I have concluded that, yes, it was a good one. I’m already missing its slower pace. After two weeks of feeling nonstop busy, I’ve decided that (when possible) I must keep Sunday a day of rest.

I rested this summer. I was fortunate to spend many days sitting in a chair near my father’s pool.  And during the last week of August, I spent five days with my family at Cape Cod.  I love the ocean!  Not necessarily going in it, just looking at it.  And hearing it… and smelling it.  I love the warmth of the sun and the sand, and even the wind if it’s not too strong.   I would have stayed at the beach from sunrise until sunset if my family wanted to, but a couple of hours were enough for them.  So I slept in, played pool, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding (and its sequel), and ate ice cream for dinner.  I also kayaked for the first time ever.  All alone on the pond, I felt serene until three hawks started circling above me.  I googled, “Do hawks attack people?” and I texted Bobby, “Would you like to come out on the pond with me?”  (I didn’t ditch the iPhone on vacation.)  I also spent many hours reading tween fiction, out in the fresh air, without any distractions, interruptions, or time limits. I was blessed with that feeling of peace and joy.

I also worked this summer.  Bobby and I spent many days trimming arborvitae bushes (and tree branches and vines) at my father’s house, and I weeded, gardened and mowed the lawn at our own home.  I cleaned the walls, windows, tables, and flooring in our schoolroom.

The soundtracks of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again and Hamilton, the audible original Emma,  and lectures on Classical U, kept my mind from boredom.  Speaking of Classical U, have you ever heard of the idea of Schole? There’s an idea for another post.  Along with my fall capsule wardrobe, a decluttering update, and more… But for now, I will continue to enjoy the slower pace of Sunday and the end of the summer.  And I hope that you will too.

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Decluttering the Schoolroom

WARNING:  This is a long story of progress, not perfection.  If you are not interested in pondering the decluttering process, then skip to the photos.

I’ve been homeschooling for fourteen years now. I spent the first half of this time accumulating materials. I was building a home library, an art studio, a classroom, and trying to figure out which methods and curricula worked for my family. Then it was suddenly “all too much.” (Thank you, Peter Walsh!) I’ve decluttered at least once every year since then.  In the beginning, I got rid of a lot. I went through all the emotions you feel when you do a big purge. It was an eye-opening experience.

Past purchases can teach you much about yourself. I could see how I bought things we didn’t need out of fear, or to avoid pain; how I blindly followed “experts” instead of praying and trusting God; how I thought curricula, and not discipline, was the problem; and so on… It was all a learning experience. Processing those feelings helped me to see more clearly and stop the spending. That didn’t mean I reached the schoolroom “click point” as Marie Kondo calls that place where you feel you have just the right amount of stuff. So this time, my goal was to keep only those things that we love, or use, or will use at a specific time in the future.

I divided the room into these categories:

  • Furniture
  • Accessories
  • Walls
  • Books
  • Art Supplies
  • Craft Supplies
  • Office Supplies
  • Mary’s Activities

Next, I picked up each item for consideration and made lists of “The Keepers.” I asked myself (and sometimes my kids) three questions:

  1. Do we love it?
  2. How often do we use it?
  3. Does it serve a good purpose?

A “yes” to any of the questions made it a keeper. Some items went into the trash or donate piles.  Where it got difficult was when we answered “No. Not at all. No, BUT I’m going to use it someday!” Or we might use it in the future, or maybe it’ll serve a good purpose someday.

Then, two months-of-doing-nothing later, after realizing that some of the “Keepers” did not meet my criteria of love, use, or going to use it at a specific time in the future, I made another pass through the room.  I weeded out some more items.

This time I went through quickly, not touching every item individually, and I used another set of questions which I made up based on the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

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  1. Does this help me to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord?
  2. Do I use this to help me on to my end?
  3. Does this hinder me as to my end?

The thing about homeschooling books and curricula, and even some art supplies, is that unless you know in advance what your course of study will be every year for all of your homeschooling years, it’s impossible to know whether or not you will use a certain book at a specific time in the future.  The best I can do is make an educated guess.  I’ve been procrastinating “finishing” decluttering the schoolroom because I’ve been confusing the end with the means.

I was so focused on having the perfect amount of stuff in the room, that I forgot that the perfect amount of stuff is not my end.  These new questions reminded me of my true end, and made me realize that having a few extra picture books on a shelf that we never read is not going to hinder me as to my true end.

I just need to be the best steward of our things that I can be at this time, then move on.  So I am keeping the items that we love, we use, and a limited number of items that we will likely use in the future, and I’m assigning a home for each item.

Because my schoolroom is large with lots of storage spaces, it is easy to find homes for everything.  The way that I am limiting the number of items is by confining them to certain areas.  And these areas don’t need to be filled.  Empty space is desirable.  Here are some of their homes:

  • Mary’s activities in the old computer cabinet
  • chapter books in the cherry cabinets
  • reference and religious books on the top white shelves
  • readers, poetry books and plays on the middle white shelves
  • picture books on the bottom left shelf
  • history, geography, art and science books on the bottom right shelf
  • cleaning, art and craft supplies in the cabinets and a drawer
  • office supplies in a drawer
  • Playdoh in a cabinet
  • sewing supplies in a chest of drawers

In the schoolroom closet, I have a dresser in which I am keeping:

  • items to use later this year in the top drawer
  • audiobooks in the little drawer above the cabinet
  • future language arts, Latin, math and religion books in the second drawer
  • future art books and syllabi in the bottom drawer
  • future music, science, history and geography books in the cabinet

Many of the books and supplies for the current year are kept on shelves in the closet.

I feel comfortable with the items currently in our schoolroom.  I don’t consider them to be clutter.  There are more activities, sewing, and art and craft supplies in here than I would like; but I keep them because the girls love and/or use them, and they have assigned homes.  I expect that many of these items will go out the door as the girls get older and their interests change.  You can see the rest of the schoolroom when I do a room tour post. That’ll happen when I am finished with this VHS-C tape project,

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or right before school starts…  whichever comes first.

 

 

Summer Work and Play

Two weeks have passed since my last blog past.  What have I been doing with my time?

I’ve been spending lots of it at my father’s house, sitting by the pool, and occasionally doing laps in it. I also visit with my mom and stepfather once a week, and I sometimes harvest my garden. I’ve been attending free concerts at local parks.  This week, I attended a performance by a Neil Diamond cover band.  I’ve seen three children’s theater plays with my three younger girls.   Yesterday, I giggled through the musical You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I did make two new decluttering checklists for two of my major projects, “The Basement” and “Sentimental Items”.

I didn’t make a checklist for “Paper” as I said I would, because Bobby and I blew through it all last Saturday.  A “Paper” post will be coming soon.

I read Making Room for God: Decluttering and the Spiritual Life.

On July 27th, I said this:

If I really focus, (and don’t watch so many movies) maybe I can complete these projects by the end of this summer.

Well, about movies….  since then, I’ve watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, The Greatest Showman,  Leon: The Professional, Gladiator, Braveheart, John Wick, Yours, Mine and Ours, John Wick 2, and Roxanne.  (Those are the ones I can remember.)

I’ve also prepared for the next homeschool year, and I thought I finished decluttering the schoolroom, but I’m considering doing one more round before I post about it.  The reason is that my original goal was to keep only things that we love, use, or will use at a specific time in the future.  I realized today that I have kept many items that don’t fit that criteria.  So, I either need to change my goal, or do another round.  A “schoolroom” post will be coming soon.

Room Tours: The Master Bedroom

Welcome to my Room Tour Category!  This is my second post here.  The first one was a tour of the girls’ room.  This will be a tour of the room I share with my husband, Bob.  I think I’ve been calling him Bobby here.  I usually call him Bob when I’m talking about him, and Bobby when I’m talking to him. Oh well.

I found some pictures of this room, from 2010, on a blog that I stopped keeping at the end of that year. I had blogged for five years, and then I took a break from it until this year.  I read a few posts, and although I was still pondering the same ideas as I am today, I could see that I have made progress with simplifying (though slowly) over the past seven and a half years.  For example, back then I was overwhelmed by our kitchen clutter, and today our kitchen seems to be in good order.

So here is what our bedroom looked like back then:

We bought the Shaker style furniture when we moved into our first home in 1999.  Then we decorated the room like this in 2006, when we moved into our current home.  Eventually, the quilt started falling apart.  I flipped it over for awhile, then I took it off completely and just had sheets and blankets for awhile.  This year I wanted a change. I did something drastic.  I moved the furniture around for the first time in twelve years.  I took down the pictures.  Then I replaced the valances with sheers.  And I bought new bedding, lampshades and placemats for the nightstands.  So this is how it looks now.

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I looked at loads of pictures online and found neutral colors were most attractive to me. I’m usually frugal, but this time I splurged on some 750 count sheets and they are amazing!  I feel like I’m in a hotel at night.  It’s very cozy and comfortable.  So we each have our own nightstands.  I keep a prayer book, earbuds, my Kindle, and a box of tissues in mine.

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The armoire belongs to Bob.  The little decoration on top was the cake topper from our wedding cake.  It was a gift from his mother.  She painted it to look like us.  I have a cute little veil and beads and flowers just like the real ones.  Well if I knew I was going to share all these details, I would have taken a closer picture of the thing.

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The dresser is mine. And you can see our bathroom door on the left.  My closet door is next, and our bedroom door leads to the living room. My dresser currently holds a wedding picture, my undergarments, socks, pajamas, work out clothing, bathing suit, jeans, shorts, T-shirts, dressy pumps and nylons, a sentimental box, and the jewelry the girls receive as gifts, but don’t wear yet. Most of my capsule wardrobe is hung in my closet.

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Bobby’s closet is across from mine and he has the larger one, because he has more clothing.  My closet is L-shaped. I keep my clothing at one end, and on the other end…

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are my books!  After seeing the movie, War Room, I created a prayer closet.  Before capsule wardrobes, I kept all of my clothing in my dresser.  But I found that because of the shape of my closet, It doesn’t bother me to have clothing in here too.  I actually like leaning on my bathrobe when I’m reading on the floor.

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You can see Bobby’s closet and our bathroom door on the right. I haven’t hung any pictures on the walls yet.  I’m enjoying the simplicity of the room.  If Bobby doesn’t tell me he wants stuff on the walls, it’s going to stay this way.  We have talked about getting an electric fireplace in here.  I’m thinking it would go to the right of my dresser.  Maybe when it gets cold again.  So this is our room and that’s the end of the tour.

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Decluttering Checklist: Update

I’ve lost count on the number of weeks I’ve been working on decluttering my entire home.  Here’s the checklist!

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Those dates to the right of the projects are (or were) the deadlines. So you can see I’ve missed a couple of them.  I did do my portion of the master bedroom, but I didn’t check it off yet because I’m hoping Bobby will go through his things, as well as his clothing.  I spent quite a bit of time rearranging and redecorating the master bedroom.  Maybe I’ll do a room tour soon.

The schoolroom was almost finished. I only had some things to go through in the closet, BUT… I got sidetracked by homeschool planning for next year. I started making all sorts of lists and piles. I’ve been listening to Brave Writer podcasts and lectures on Classical U.  (The latter seriously made helping Bobby weed and spread mulch for six hours enjoyable.)  I’ve been pondering educational philosophies and pedagogies, which is totally normal for this time of year, but not every year. Some years, (usually when I’m overwhelmed), I just follow prepared lesson plans.  But not this year. I guess I’m feeling pretty good.  And I’m having fun with it, even if it is rather geeky.

The basement.  A major project.  One day, it rained like crazy, and I worked on it all day. And after that it was sunny for weeks and I kept taking the kids swimming at my father’s pool. But I made a good dent in the basement.  I started with the largest items first. I used a local Buy Nothing Facebook page to “gift” a plastic see-saw, a sandbox, a TV stand, a framed giclée print, and loads of VHS movies.

I found out that you should let things “simmer” on that group.  You don’t just give something to the first person who can get to your home.  You give it time for many people to say they’re interested in the item and then you choose one.  It’s not as efficient as dumping a load off at the Salvation Army, but it does feel good to make people happy, and if they really are trying not to buy anything, I’d like to help them. It’s an interesting goal that sounds difficult to achieve.

I also got rid of a twin bed and Bunkie board through a Craigslist free stuff post.  And I collected many bags of trash which Matthew took away along with this stuff in the trailer.  It was progress.  Then I went around the basement taking notes of all of the areas/categories that I plan to address one at a time.

This past week, it rained everyday.  But instead of working on the basement, I jumped ahead to sentimental items.  Joseph and Sarah (especially Joseph) were pushing me to figure out how to convert the family home movies, which are on VHS-C tapes to DVD’s.  So I took out all this stuff.

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Some of it was from my Mom, some was from Bobby’s study, and I needed a VCR. Matthew had three in the basement. (Sometimes it’s handy having a collector in the house.)  I later found out that Bobby had another VCR in his study.  He was probably saving it for this project.

THIS IS A MAJOR PROJECT!!  It should have it’s own category on the checklist. In fact,  I think each of the major projects should have their own checklist. So my goals for this weekend will be to finish decluttering the schoolroom, and to make new checklists for the basement, sentimental items, and paper. The garage and digital clutter can wait.  If I really focus, (and don’t watch so many movies) maybe I can complete these projects by the end of this summer.

Summer Capsule Wardrobe

This is my first summer capsule wardrobe ever!  I created it with items from my spring capsule wardobe, with items that I wore last summer, and a few new pieces that I bought in June.  I planned on wearing it from July 1st-October 1st, but I actually began wearing it in the middle of June when we had a stretch of super hot weather.

I’ll start with the bottoms:  white crop jeans, blue skinny jeans, tan capri pants, black skirt, denim shorts, tan shorts, and (sorry to say) chambray shorts that I bought in June, and haven’t worn yet. They feel more snug than my denim shorts, and they are practically the same color. I also bought the tan shorts this year and have worn them once. I usually only wear shorts around the house, so I probably don’t need three of them.

Next up are the tops: black & white striped tank, black tank, red striped tank, gray sleeveless top, gray T-shirt, white T-shirt, striped T-shirt, and my pineapple shirt.

Here are the layers:  jean jacket, jean vest (that my daughter didn’t wear anymore), white tassel top, white button down sweater, thin black sweater.

The footwear:  black wedge heels, black sandals, and gray converse sneakers.

Dresses and accessories:  black sleeveless dress, new shift dress, black handbag, and black Read Aloud Revival tote.

I have some other items too that I don’t consider part of my capsule wardrobe. They are: a bathing suit, sunglasses, pajamas, work out clothing, my Yoda T-shirt, (for cleaning and yardwork) my popcorn T-shirt and navy hoodie, (that I wear to the movies) and my red, Pura Vida and black “Stick It to the Man” T-shirts (that I wear around the house sometimes).

This looks pretty minimalist, but I think I wore fewer items in the past. Last summer, I would wear only my black sandals with one of my two pairs of boot cut jeans or my denim shorts, and a T-shirt (usually one I received as a souvenir from a foreign country Bobby visited).  It was like a low maintenance uniform.  And I didn’t own a purse. Having a capsule wardrobe takes a little more preparation, but it is simple once set up, and it gives me a more feminine, stylish appearance.

Does appearance matter? Does a capsule wardrobe make me more confident? Does it save me time, money, or decision fatigue?  These are questions to ponder.